The ripples we set in motion

While I was donating blood years ago, a Red Cross nurse placed her hand on my forehead as though to take my temperature and said, Wait. You deal with conflict for a living? Honey, that is just weird.

Hello there, I’m Tammy Lenski, and I work with conflict…on purpose.

That nurse’s reaction says a lot about what we think of conflict: a pain to avoid or suffer through. We don’t like how it makes us feel. The time and energy it consumes. The way it alienates us from those who are vital to our work and lives.

But conflict has value. Colliding viewpoints are the seeds of clearer thinking, fresh insights, wiser decisions, and deeper trust.

As a mediator, coach, and conflict resolution professor, I spent the last three decades up close to what works and what doesn’t. Do you know what makes the most difference?

How we disagree.

How we disagree has a powerful ripple effect on our lives. It shapes the caliber of our work, the extent of our influence, and the strength of our relationships.

I write Disagree Better for people who want to develop better habits and skills around conflict, and for people who help others do the same. I share what works, how to make sense of conflict, what we can learn from research and the experiences of others, and how to get out of our own way.

Here are a few articles that give you a taste of my work:

I’ve been helping people disagree better for over 30 years as a mediator, conflict resolution teacher, speaker, and author. I’ve taught conflict resolution in four U.S. graduate programs and co-founded the world’s first master’s degree in mediation at Woodbury College. I created this newsletter in 1999 and brought it to Substack in 2024. If you’re keen on more, you’ll find my formal bio here.

When I’m not working, I’m usually on a hiking trail, in the dog agility ring, or in the garden. My husband and I have been together for over 35 years, with occasional outbreaks of bickering.