Healing the Relationship You Can't Walk Away From

You spend your entire life with you. Every waking moment, every sleeping moment, every success and failure, every good time and bad.

Every. Single. Day.

It’s interesting to me that the worst relationship that we will have is the one with ourselves.

We allow internal dialogue to run rampant in our minds; we cut ourselves down, denigrate ourselves, punish ourselves when we f*&k up, judge ourselves, run old scenarios and conversations through our minds about how we should have done better, said things differently or wish we hadn’t said anything at all.

We put up with bad behaviour from others, allow our boundaries to be messed with because we want others to like us; put up with bad relationships because we want intimacy or love, and we continue the negative internal dialogue believing that this is who we are. Maybe the internal dialogue helps us to feel less delusional about ourselves, or maybe we feel we are a good person when we are self-deprecating, even if we are doing so humorously.

Of course, we can have fun with ourselves, accept our flaws, laugh at ourselves or realize when we have a pattern or habit that isn’t serving us anymore but, what are we doing with that information? Are we truly accepting and loving, or are we superficially accepting ourselves while, underneath it all, we are judging ourselves.

A healthy sense of self is important for growth and expansion. An unhealthy sense of self keeps us stuck.

The unhealthy self is a distorted reflection. It isn’t a character flaw but a survival mechanism. It keeps us stagnant and focused on shame when we fail, or keeps us focused on guilt when we do something wrong. Our boundaries are either crossed because we are looking for acceptance, or they become too rigid and we shut others out. Our internal dialogue is full of shoulds and musts, while we consistently look for validation from others.

A healthy self has a clear reflection. It is the quiet knowing that you are worthy. It is knowing that mistakes are normal, which, in turn, help us to learn and grow. Our boundaries are clear, and we can say ‘no’ knowing that this is an act of self-love. Our internal dialogue is of encouragement not judgement and we check in with ourselves to ensure we are in alignment with our divine self. And, if we aren’t, we can adjust ourselves knowing that alignment is where we are meant to be.

This isn’t about fixing, it is about transmuting old patterns and negative internal dialogue to step into deeper awareness and understanding. It’s about staying in a consistent state of self-love, even if we feel not so loving.

When we transmute old patterns and negative internal dialogue, we feel a shift inwardly and see the shift outwardly through:

• Better sleep because the inner critic is quiet

• Increased confidence

• Stronger boundaries

• Improved relationships with others

Close your eyes, and open your heart and ask:

Whose voice am I hearing when I criticize myself? If it’s not yours, this is a pattern that needs releasing.

When we begin to clear our minds and heal our hearts, everything changes. You stop “checking the room” for permission to exist and start trusting the quiet authority of your own heart. This isn’t just about feeling better; it’s about reclaiming the energy you’ve been giving away.

If you’re ready to trade that heavy shield for a healthy sense of self, join me in The Virtual Temple. We’ll use meditation, sacred practice, and deep reflection to lay a foundation that can’t be shaken by the outside world.

The Virtual Temple is a sanctuary, a sacred space, a quiet room that you can enter at any time to return to your center, reset, recalibrate, find solace, find yourself, and begin the journey of the soul. But, most importantly, the Temple is You. The Virtual Temple is about honouring your sacred self.

To help you navigate your soul’s journey, I’ve opened the doors to a new 60-minute immersive workshop: Healing the Relationship with Yourself ($37).

As part of the Inner Alchemy Workshop Series, this journey includes a guided meditation to help you stay aligned with your highest path. And! You get lifetime access to this course. Use Code: ALCHEMY20 to receive 20% off any course.