When You Come Over

When you come over, I’ll greet you at the front door, smeared with little fingerprints from the ones who, just moments before your arrival, were staring out the window in wonder.

I’ll give you a warm hug even though this postpartum body feels like I am a stranger to myself. The love I have for others is still beating in a heart I know is mine.

I’ll tell you to leave your shoes and jacket at the door, come in, and make yourself at home. Your jacket will be kept company on the hook between two knitted mini jackets that are so cute it hurts. Your shoes will most likely be tried on and examined by one who is barely larger than your right foot.

I’ll make you a coffee, just the way you like it, with homemade syrup I whipped up in a rare moment when my hands were free. I’ll ask if you’d like it hot or iced in between the cries of a baby on my hip who simultaneously doesn’t like the sound of the coffee grinder and wants to play with it.

I’ll sit down on the couch beside you, moving a few toys out of the way, and eagerly ask you how you are. I love you so deeply and want to know what stories and thoughts have been going on inside your head and your heart. We will get interrupted more times than my patience would like. Please know it does not dilute the words you are sharing. I want to hear it all, the long version.

In this season, my time is not my own. I used to be able to sit with you for hours at a time and give you my undivided attention. I’m sorry if you miss that version of me. Sometimes I miss that version of me too.

Everything is so full now. My house. My schedule. My mind. My heart. My boobs. My life.

Sometimes it feels like everything is about to burst.

It’s been an adjustment I wish I’d handled with more grace. But refinement, I’m finding, is hard and it hurts. Mostly emotionally.

When you come over, you will see.

There is this new version of me.

Can we both sit with her awhile and get to know her?

About the writer:

If we haven’t met yet, hi! I’m JamieLee. I’m a mom of two, ages 3.5 and 1, living in the Midwest with my beautiful family. When I’m not with my kids, I’m writing or taking photos. But…I really like being home with my kids. I love cooking, creating, coffee and being in my garden. You’ll more often than not find me barefoot in my backyard. I’m so glad you found your way to my corner of the internet, I’d love if you’d stay and introduce yourself in the comments.

I’ve currently decided to not put my writings behind a paywall (but always thankful if you choose to support me in that way!!). You can also buy me a coffee to support me. Big hugs!