Stop trying to love yourself.

“It’s a mistake to think you should love yourself just as you are.”

This is how Jordan Peterson concludes his Vision and Destiny course.

What a shocker.

Those words resonates like thunder in a world where self-acceptance reigns supreme.

I mean, am I not supposed to find peace of mind in letting go of all the beating up?

I'll admit that my attempts have been unsuccessful: no amount of positive affirmations on my mirror, on my phone wallpaper, ... have killed the hate-demon on my shoulder.

In our quest for self-acceptance, we've been spoon-fed a fallacy that loving ourselves 'as we are' is the end goal. But let's face it, this mantra often leaves us feeling uncomfortable.

This whole dance of trying to find beauty in your flaws feels like bullshit to me. There, I said it.

I want to love myself... and strive to always become better.

Is it too much to ask?

Is there no alternative to hating myself for not running utlra-trails on my spare time and read 3 books a week, or to pretend like a week-end doing nothing is satisfactory?

What Peterson actually offers goes beyond this surface paradox: to love not the flawed self we currently inhabit, but the aspirational self we have the potential to become.

It's not about dismissing self-love; it's about channeling that love towards the person you're capable of becoming.

Yup, sometimes you have to act out as the person you want to become until you become it.

That's where the transformative power of clothes come into play: start by dressing the part.

Imagine this: every piece of clothing, every accessory you choose, is a declaration of where you're headed, not just where you've been. It's not superficial; it's a form of self-expression that signals to the world, and more importantly, to yourself, the changes you're aspiring to make.

This isn't about disguising or denying your current self; it's about visualizing your best self and using that vision as a guide for your personal evolution.

By aligning how we present ourselves with who we aspire to be, we bridge the gap between self-acceptance and self-improvement. It's a physical manifestation of our internal ambitions.

Dressing the part is not a mask; it's not a "fake it till you make it" subterfuge.

It's an acknowledgment of the ever-evolving beings we are.

This shift in perspective challenges the notion that self-improvement is a betrayal of self-love.

Instead, it positions every choice, down to the clothes we wear, as a step towards realizing our full potential. In doing so, we embrace a more profound form of self-love-one that celebrates not just who we are but who we have the courage to become.

Flamboyant outfits, for me, serve as an antidote to self-doubt, an armor against the suffocating grip of conformity. Wearing a statement dress invokes my most fearless power, it makes me act like the Lion I am inside.

Sure, you might not wear crazy dresses to work. But the question remains.

Take a moment to reflect on the person you want to become.

Write down three attributes of this aspirational self and consider how your wardrobe can reflect these qualities.

This week choose an item or outfit that represents one of these attributes and step into your day with intention.

And of course ... share your reflections and experiences with me!

PS - Beyond your wardrobe, consider the habits, routines, and even the social circles that the best version of yourself would choose. Start incorporating them, one small change at a time. :-)