Reading · My Morning Muse

There are many reasons why I love visiting the sea: the quietness, the air that feels so much cleaner and fresher, and its sheer vastness. But I also like that it never seems to change much - not to the viewer’s eye at least. Of course, there are days when the waves crashing against the shore look very different from the sea on a calm, windless day. But the sea is always there, just minding its own business. No matter what is going on in the world or how much time passes.

Walking along its shore not only brings me peace but also offers endless inspiration. I love photographing the waves, the sand and stones beneath my feet, searching for sea treasures while listening to the birds and the wind. It feels like the clock ticks differently by the sea. Steady, slower…

Time is an Ocean.

This phrase came to me before I even fully realized what it meant to me, and before I knew it would eventually turn into a book project. Not only did it come together slowly, but it also underwent many changes: the design, the layout, the photographs, and the sequencing. I kept changing and switching things several times.

Because it never felt quite right, I decided to put it all aside.

But there was something else that I had put aside. I only realized later that both things were connected…

Right before it became clear we had to say goodbye to Ben1 and had to decide what would happen with his earthly remains, I had the idea to scatter his ashes. But when I eventually held the ashes in my hand, the thought of scattering them made me feel like losing Ben all over again. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Then one day in June, while on vacation in Denmark, I gathered all my courage, took Ben’s ashes, and went to the beach. As I stood there, looking out into the North Sea, I knew it was about time. I scattered his ashes and watched as the waves came, one by one, slowly carrying him away. This experience and the thought of Ben reunited with the place we both loved so much brought me peace.

When I returned home a few days later, I thought of the book project again and knew it was time to let it go, too. After a few weeks of finding the perfect paper, printing, sawing (yes, sawing!), and binding, it felt so good to finally hold it in my hands.