End Literature No. 1

An airplane crashed in the parking lot. In the ensuing chaos, I emptied the register and left, never to return.

No it didn’t. Nothing happened that day or any other day, so I decided to start a death cult, and I did, and I also joined it.

After work, I went home and shaved my face and head with a pair of clippers. I chose the ½ size black plastic guard, because I wanted to leave a layer of stubble. It would identify me as a supplicant to my own mortality.

I consulted the relevant passage of Heidegger’s magnum opus, Being and Time, and found it wanting. That must be frustrating, to have your first book be your magnum opus. Probably why he spent the rest of his life disavowing it to no avail.

I’m luckier than that. I’ve put out a book, a few actually, and nobody has said one of them was my magnum opus. Each one is, in a sense, worse than the last. The next one will be worse than that, and so on. Eventually I hope to end literature entirely, although I may only accomplish some formal innovation, henceforth known as end literature.

Don’t we all feel like something is at an end? That’s just wishful thinking, I remind myself of this often… horror movie jouissance, gambler’s apocalypse, of course it’s the best feeling… the world ends and as soon as that happens another has no choice but to be born, against all satyric wisdom. Yeah… it’ll be better!.. yeah… what could be better than this? Nothing. First tenet of the cult.

The cult leader was tired of me, but refused to reopen the membership rolls. Said his hands were tied, muttered something about Kafka’s “Before the Law” and just went back to wandering around in his bathrobe with the belt undone. His gait was uneven, and there was the sound of a little slap accompanying each step, distinct if quiet.

He told me to shovel out the car for one last ride, so I did, all dressed in black wool, and it got damp from the snow and damp from my sweat. I came inside and collapsed, fully nude, what of it? This is my house! This is my vessel! I’ll do with it as I please. I’ll eat whole ginger roots and wince. I’ll eat no less than six eggs at a time. I’ll turn the vases upside-down and rest them on vellum, after the roses sickle and beg removal, of course, and read the little wet marks. This is what they said:

“The door, frozen in extremis, is just another case of the patriarch clutching his feather. Circuits offer analogies, really fitting ones, the details of which would only bore the audience. You’ve all seen the symbol, around a wrist, above a doorway, I’ve even seen it on an antique gravestone. Excuse me? It makes no difference where I am, and the question is prurient. Just know that when the liquid silences, something is wrong, or at the very least overwhelmingly subprime on the basis of prior interventions. To the enemies of humanity, beware of cylinder. How do you value that? On the basis of years, gapteeth, gapeworth, rapt knuckles of attention. Beware of dry skin hiding glaze in motion. No under, but the flipside of surface can be said to exist, in theory at least, as we’ve never seen such a thing, just experiments with a new shirt or new pair of glasses. White may go to black on the arrangement of beads, and just as easily the reverse. There is still a border to the gameboard, in fact the simplest circle you can imagine is the perfect one despite remaining speculative. There is an applicable range of seagulls who cross a threshold, whether it is bronze, aluminum, or porcelain steel. Nothing is happening back there, ask my vendor. His machine collects. Dust may be confused with Death when it is life shed. It’s no mistake to be confused, but it is preventable, with or without shock. It all depends on you and the stress you choose to understand. The account is, at times, out of your hands, but the lens will maintain its gold rim regardless. You can only regard it or palpate with ocular digits. Insert “ra” before you close the office door. We all want to know what you’re hiding, but the “we” is still opaque, which hardly seems fair. You are forced to trust that nature will provide.”