The cost of telling yourself no

Over the next 8 weeks, as we count down to the start of CREATIVE SHIFT on 7th September 2026, I’ll be sharing some of the themes, questions and insights we explore as we develop a deeper understanding of ourselves, our work and our creative practice.

If you’d like to join the waitlist, you’ll find a link at the bottom of this post.

One of the things we explore in CREATIVE SHIFT is the idea of following your nudges. Those small creative impulses, the things that quietly tap you on the shoulder and say:

“What about this?”

“What if you tried that?”

“Wouldn’t it be interesting to explore this a little further?”

They’re often rather small, a suggestion to try out a new colour, or experiement with a different tool. It may be a nudge to draw something, or to read a particular book. Occassionally, they may be something much bigger, a sense that you want to sign-up for a course, have an important conversation, build a studio in your back garden, or make a huge life change (I’ve witnessed a couple of these since hosting CREATIVE SHIFT!)

Whatever form they take, I think most of us recognise them. As much as I love hearing people talk about nudges and the places they lead, what also deeply interests me is what happens when we repeatedly ignore them. Because of course, not every nudge arrives at a convenient moment. Life is busy, money can be tight, energy can be low, and responsibilities are real… so sometimes, there are genuine reasons why we can’t immediately do the thing we’d like to do. I totally understand this.

But I think there is a difference between not being able to follow a nudge exactly as we’d imagined and telling ourselves a complete and permanent no.

Years ago, I spent a long time doing exactly that. The nudges would arrive, I’d feel excited about an idea, and then almost immediately I’d shut it down. I’d have plenty of reasons, all of which felt true at the time. “You can’t do that”, “You don’t have time”, “You can’t afford it”, “Maybe one day”. “Not now”, “Another time” - always another time. At first, the nudges kept coming, but over time, the voices became quieter, the excitement faded, and the ideas appeared less often, until eventually I realised I wasn’t hearing much at all.

Does this resonate?

Looking back, I find it quite sad that I’d become so practised at saying no to my inner voice that there seemed little point in it asking for anything.
Although there’s no going back, I’m not regretful. I believe I wouldn’t be in the life I am now if I’d made different decisions. If anything, I’m grateful for the lessons, I’m now much more aware of the importance of listening to that inner voice, and giving it some air time. And one of the biggest learnings is that, the value isn’t always in where it leads. It’s in the acknowledgment of the ideas, it’s in the giving space to them, like they’re important - and there’s truth in this, we have no idea of the potential in those little thoughts.

The value is simply in becoming the sort of person who trusts themselves enough to take the next step - even if that’s listening first, without shutting anything down.

Most nudges don’t arrive with guarantees attached, they arrive wrapped in uncertainty, and uncertainty is uncomfortable. We like plans, we like certainty, we like knowing where we’re heading and how things will turn out - but creativity doesn’t work like that - and life doesn’t work like that.

Following a nudge means stepping into a space where you don’t yet know the outcome. You might fail, you might change your mind, you might discover it wasn’t quite what you expected - BUT - you might also discover something wonderful that you could never have predicted from where you’re standing now.

I can’t recall one thing in my creative life which hasn’t started in this way, choosing to make art around my full-time job, taking creative workshops, starting a series of paintings, deciding to turn my lounge into a space where I could paint, embarking on bigger courses, taking the leap on getting an outside studio… I had no idea how any of these choices would turn out - they just started with me hearing myself out, and opening up the possibility of saying yes - and trust me, many of those started with a very teeny yes.

Following a nudge doesn’t necessarily mean booking the flight, renting the studio or changing your entire life. Sometimes it simply means finding the smallest possible way to honour what’s calling you. Maybe you can’t attend the painting retreat in the south of France this year, but perhaps you can spend an afternoon painting in your garden (or a friends!). Maybe you can’t travel the world right now, but perhaps you can explore a new culture through food, books, music or conversation. Maybe you can’t dedicate whole days to your creative practice, but perhaps you can carve out ten minutes for a sketch, a photograph, a few lines in your journal or a walk with your camera 🌿

A small yes is still a yes - and those small yeses are more important than they might seem, because every time you respond to one of those quiet inner promptings, you’re strengthening something far more important than the project / thing itself. You’re strengthening the trust in yourself - trust in your curiosity, trust in your instincts, and trust in your ability to step forward without knowing exactly where the path leads. I think that’s what following nudges is really about.

Becoming more productive, doing the thing, seeing the place and having the conversation are all valuable. But allowing that small voice to keep speaking, to keep asking, and to keep quietly directing you towards what matters to you - that’s gold.

Do you remember ART JUICE?

As I was writing this, I was reminded of a conversation I had with Louise Fletcher on the ART JUICE podcast a few years ago (Episode 277) It was on ‘Nurturing your Creative Practice’. Towards the end of the episode, we found ourselves talking about this exact thing. I spoke about a period in my life where I repeatedly told myself no. No to ideas, opportunities, and often, creativity. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, life just felt busy, demanding and full.

The conversation has always stayed with me. Partly because it’s something I’ve experienced personally, and partly because it’s something I continue to witness through CREATIVE SHIFT. Often, when we’re overwhelmed, stretched, caring for others, building careers, navigating difficult periods, or simply trying to keep all the plates spinning, creativity can feel like the easiest thing to put aside. My life is still very full, this could easily happen again! But I’ve come to believe that finding ways to stay connected to that creative part of ourselves matters more than we realise, because creativity keeps us connected to curiosity, possibility and most importantly, to ourselves. That’s why I’m such a believer in finding the smallest possible yes.

If you’d like to listen to the conversation with Louise, you can find it HERE

The whole episode is a lovely listen, but the part from around 52 minutes onwards feels particularly relevant to this week’s reflections.

I’ll leave you with this:

What nudge have you been saying no to lately?

And is there a small way you could say yes instead?

CREATIVE SHIFT 2026

Bookings for this year’s CREATIVE SHIFT open later this week.

If you’ve been feeling a nudge to understand yourself, your work and your creative practice more deeply, keep an eye on your inbox. There will be a special early-bird offer available when enrolment opens.