Behind the Scenes of Sixty Years of Online Dating Technology

Humans first walked the earth ~300,000 years ago.
Humans first used mating networks ~34,000 years ago.1
Humans first digitized their mating efforts ~60 years ago.

In less than the span of a single human lifetime, over 300 million people have turned to digital dating and mating networks.2 In the United States, we’ve already crossed the threshold where over 50% of relationships begin online.3

On one hand, in the time it takes us to put on socks, dating apps can sift through fifty million people, identify who’s nearby, available now, and compatible with us across dozens of dimensions, then alert those people to our existence, enabling us to match, chat, and potentially meet.

On the other hand, those same dating apps may be designed to hide those most compatible people behind a paywall, then hook us into surgically-designed dopamine loops of endless swiping with no tangible dating results for months or years on end, maximizing returns for their corporate and private equity shareholders while costing humans billions of minutes of attention.

So, are dating apps net positive for humanity? What does our future hold?

On February 4th, 2026, I sat on a panel about the “Algorithms of Love” at the Computer History Museum in Mountainview, California alongside two dating industry titans: Jeff Tarr, who in 1965 invented the first computerized matchmaking platform, Operation Match; and Gary Kremen, who in 1995 founded Match.com, the first internet dating platform. We explored the modern history of technology-assisted romance, what dating was like before the concept of “email” was even invented, and whether algorithms can predict compatibility. We eventually waded into the weeds of AI lovers, romantic scammers, and how dating industry conglomerates farm human attention for profit. We ended on a note of hope.

You can watch the full video here.

In my next post, I’ll explore more of the ins and outs of the modern dating ecosystem based on my last 15 years in the thick of it.

In the meantime…

• Read the Computer History Museum’s “Algorithms of Love” blog post

• Get notified of the release of CHM panel moderator Hanna Kozlowska’s book about the dating industry, U Up? A Social History of Online Dating

• Listen to a Reuters podcast episode with my colleague Mark Brooks on “The Dating App Paradox: What Happens When Pleasure Becomes Business”

• Watch my episode on the Sexonomic podcast with Heidi Holland

  • 00:00 Steve's background in dating & data
    06:01 How online dating landscape has changed since 2006
    15:13 Predicted future change & use of personal data
    25:51 INSANE gender differences in online dating
    37:22 Using AI to flirt
    50:19 ARE dating apps good or bad?

Need help with dating, personal development, or navigating relationships? Let’s talk!
I’ve run a personal dating consultancy called Dateworking since 2011.

Schedule a call with me and we’ll talk through your life, goals, struggles, and strategy. First call is free, and I’ll do what I can to point you in the right direction.
~Steve