A Theology of Enoughness

A Brief Disclaimer:

This topic has been a deep passion of mine for years, but I’ve never really attempted to form the words until now. I knew this was on my schedule for writing in the Lies We Love to Live series, but as I started putting pen to paper—er, fingers to keyboard—the weight of these words unexpectedly overwhelmed my soul.

If I had to argue what the greatest trap of our current generation is, what is holding us back the most from living out the truth of who we were created to be, it’s rooted in this: our perceived identity of who we are and the lies we believe about our “enoughness”.

So, there may be some bold claims here, and they might strike a chord for you. Read at your own pace. Pause if you need to. Be mad at me if that’s easier. But I do pray that if you need to pause because of any emotions it stirs, you take the time to reflect on what emotions are rising up, bring those to God, then come back to continue reading when you’re ready.

I’m very aware that I am writing this post in June, or, as most of our American culture knows it, Pride Month. Maybe that’s why I feel such a weight, because I’ve been reading the hate-filled rhetoric online—from ALL sides, mind you—and I recognize how much pain is wrapped up in this message… I wondered and prayed if there was something I should be reading or writing about concerning our LGBTQ family and friends this month, and, though I’m always listening and leanring, I wasn’t confident in anything specific to share. This post, however, likely touches on many of the underlying feelings and messages that are circulating about “Pride” right now.

Please, please, pretty please, do not make assumptions about what is being said unless it’s clearly being said. I’d love open dialogue here. I don’t take it lightly that I’m portraying the gospel message of who God is and how He created us, and I want nothing to be misconstrued. Thank you for your support in my work, and I pray this read is encouraging, challenging, and most importantly points you more toward the love of God.

Do you have those moments where you’ve tried everything or tried to be everything, only to feel empty, lacking, and missing the mark? I do, constantly.

Like most Western Americans, I’d imagine, I was raised to be strong, independent, self-sufficient, capable, and highly responsible. Okay, I don’t know how many were raised to be responsible…But I certainly was. And it’s a blessing…and a curse.

In the eyes of American society, self-sufficiency is everything. And beyond that, in the eyes of every human being, being loved, known, and accepted as we are is the highest achievement we are all seeking.

There’s this message—sometimes subversive, sometimes glaring—circling all the blog posts, news feeds, books, movies, and music out there today, making the claim that you are enough. Underneath these claims is the aching desire to be loved just as we are, without having to change or adapt to other people’s expectations of who we should be.

In Progressive Christian circles, this message has become their shout around the walls of Jericho…

• “Don’t tell me who I have to be!”

• “If God can’t accept me as I am—a loner and happy to be alone, gay and happy with my partner, transgender and happy to be less of who I was created to be, hateful and happy to be holding people accountable—then that’s not a God worthy of my worship anyway.”

• “Evangelism is colonialism. Knock it off.” (This one is a legitimate comment I’ve received on social media.)

It’s interesting because some of the very same people exclaiming these things are the same ones who seem to believe that who you vote for defines who you are, and you’re certainly not enough if you voted for Trump. Aye-yi-yi. I could get lost here, but let me get back to the main point.1

The lie our culture is leading us to believe, so sneakily, so subversively, so innocently, is that you are enough without God. You don’t need anyone else, especially some holier-than-thou deity, to control you or define you. You are most whole and healthy when you are independent, self-sufficient, carving your own path in this world, and doing whatever it takes to make yourself happy.

Do you know what often happens with that mentality? Happiness—temporarily. Health—partially. Wholeness—ignorantly. It is possible to be happy when you choose yourself, accept this lie that you are enough as you are, and don’t need anything or anyone else to be whole, certainly not a rigid faith system. But that usually doesn’t last through the storms of life that threaten our very existence, rock our strength, and demand every ounce of our capacity.

At some point, we all find the end of ourselves. I think I’ve found the end of myself many times, though I guess I don’t know for sure because there’s still so much I learn every day. My capacity grows, then I find the further end of myself again.

Because time and time again, I believe this lie, and I muster up all the enoughness within me to fight my own battles, to be my own person, to love how I want to love, live how I want to live. Then, I break.2

I engage with a lot of different sects of Christianity online—the reformed theologians, the deconstructing patrons, the deconverted exvangelicals (ex-evangelicals), the radical left, the radical right. And as I was preparing and praying over this article, I read this post that broke my heart…

“Christianity requires shame. Without shame, they can’t sell you Christ… Pride is a direct defiance to their concocted shame…”3

Then another, less overt: “Happy Pride. You’re all valid. No one gets to tell you otherwise…You are enough.”4

And one more, just to drive home the messaging that’s warping our minds and hearts… “you are powerful, you are worthy, you are enough just as you are, you dont need to change a single thing about yourself if you dont want to.”5

This isn’t an article about marriage, but do you know some of the top reasons for divorce are lack of commitment, arguing, and communication?6 “Duh,” you’re probably saying to yourself. We all talk about how vital communication and commitment are to a healthy relationship—all relationships, not just marriage. We’re all human, broken, and flawed as we naturally are.

Imagine telling yourself that “you are enough just as you are, you dont need to change a single thing about yourself if you dont want to” every day of your married life, only to realize that you naturally change and mature consistently, and your partner also changes and matures consistently. What happens when you resist change within yourself or change within your partner, friends, or family? Arguing. Drifting. Disconnection.

Because the truth is, humans are far too complex to be stagnant. For the betterment of our own lives and those we’re in relationships with, we should see the beauty of change, adaptation, and growth.

I think I’m getting ahead of myself, so let me back up a bit.

When people clamor for others to see them as “enough” as they are, it’s an honest, human, and I’d even dare to say holy desire. Especially as we pair that thought with our faith, we see a God who loves us so much that He willingly stepped into humanity to ultimately set us free from the pains of this world. Why would He do such a thing if we weren’t valuable enough to Him or worthy already?

Then, it seems like a catch-22, because we feel our worth, but question why He would command us to change who we are if He already decided we were worthy enough as we are.

The Conservative Christian circles don’t make this easier to understand. They tend to overcorrect so much that people start believing they aren’t loved by God until they change and “clean up their act”. Both sides are wildly problematic and anti-biblical.

When you read the types of online comments as I shared above, you see the pain underneath those claims. You can feel the weight of the shame and shunning in the name of Jesus. You can hear the cries of wanting to be loved and cherished, welcomed and accepted. You can see the struggle of self-doubt and a surrender of hope because it seems there’s no way out other than to accept defeat of “this is the life I was dealt—this is just who I am.”

God doesn’t ask us to change who we are in order to be loved. He loves us, then asks us to surrender who we are to be received in His grace, trusting that His ways are higher and better. Then, we realize that when we do, we experience a much fuller life in His presence and goodness.

Enoughness claims that we as humans are sufficiently full, whole, and right on our own, as we are. The definition of “enough” implies something is fully adequate to the necessary degree.7 Do you feel fully adequate to the necessary degree on your own accord? Ever? Some days, I do feel sufficient standing on my own two feet, thinking for myself, not consulting God, but then my pride is shattered when I face reality—or, as Michael Jackson put it, the [wo]man in the mirror.

I am a much better version of myself when I am in communion with God, walking in step with Him, and when I am in community with my friends and family, receiving their advice or wisdom. You probably are, too.

Let’s reflect on the why again—why are people in progressive circles8 so adamantly fighting for this perspective that we are enough as we are and shouldn’t be asked to change?

People are dying. Suicide is the number one cause of death globally. Especially among our LGBTQ neighbors, suicide is 3.5-4 times more likely for youths in that community—not because of how they feel about their lifestyle but often because of societal stressors, rejection, etc.9 If that doesn’t break your heart, especially as a follower of Jesus, check your heart. Unfortunately, many of those societal stressors and rejections have come in the name of Jesus and the Christian faith because we’ve too often covered truth in shame instead of love.

People (and I do mean all of us) struggle to feel loved. We often see who we are in light of how others respond to us or treat us. We often find our value in what we do and who chooses to befriend us, marry us, hire us, or talk to us. At the very core of our being, God created us for intimacy—to be known, loved, seen, heard, and in community with Him and others. When that is broken, as it so often is in our humanity, we lose ourselves, our identity, our enoughness.

Without a strong foundation of enoughness, we tend to lean toward the only thing we know and can trust above all else—ourselves. We crave love. We need love. We chase love, but we can’t truly know love on our own.

I want this to be made known loud and clear:

You were worthy to bear God’s own image. It doesn’t get more intimate or loving than that, right?

Except it did when God sent His only son through the life of Jesus Christ to live embodied and die on the cross for our sins so that we could be fully welcomed into the family of God, called His children and heirs to the throne of Heaven!

“Greater love has no one than this, that a person will lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).

We are lacking. God created us good, but sin separated us from the wholeness we can only experience with God. We are not enough in our own sinful selves. We falter. We lie. We cheat. We hate. We discriminate. We seek selfish gains above helping others. We make hurtful decisions. We ignore. We divide.

If we were enough as we are, Adam and Eve wouldn’t have been tempted by the fruit they were commanded not to eat.

If we were enough as we are, we wouldn’t have the death and destruction our history tells of, because we wouldn’t constantly be seeking selfish gain. Why would we need more money, fame, or power if we are enough as we are?

This is a hard concept to write about because it starts morphing into many philosophies that I don’t have time to dive into, such as “are humans innately good or innately bad?” I’ve read the Bible a few times now, and I believe God is good, creates good things, and does not create evil. But you can’t live on this earth for long without seeing the existence of evil. And now, this is morphing into another philosophy called the problem of evil. I digress.

The Bible is clear about our enoughness (and I don’t say this lightly, because I actually hate this phrase and how it’s misused to explain things from Scripture that are, in fact, not clear).

• Especially Created, Made in His Image

Then God said, “Let Us make mankind in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the livestock and over all the earth, and over every crawling thing that crawls on the earth.” So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them…And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.
—Genesis 1:26-27 & 31

• A Sacrificial and Eternal Kind of Love for Us

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our wrongdoings, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the boundless riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
—Ephesians 2:4-8

• Accepted as We Are, but Called to Transformation (BECAUSE of His love and wisdom, not so that we can receive His love)

When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that He was eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they said to His disciples, “Why is He eating with tax collectors and sinners?” And hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”
—Mark 2:16-17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, this person is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.
—2 Corinthians 5:17

• Leaning on God’s Wisdom Above Our Own

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
—Proverbs 3:5-7

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
—Romans 12:2

The heart is more deceitful than all else
And is desperately sick;
Who can understand it?
—Jeremiah 17:910

• We are Not Enough Without God

…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…
—Romans 3:23

Indeed, there is not a righteous person on earth who always does good and does not ever sin.
—Ecclesiastes 7:20

There is no righteous person, not even one;
There is no one who understands,
There is no one who seeks out God;
They have all turned aside, together they have become corrupt;
There is no one who does good,
There is not even one.
—Romans 3:10 (quoting Psalm 14)

For all of us have become like one who is unclean,
And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment…
—Isaiah 64:6
(This is a beautiful chapter that expresses honest humility in accepting who we are as flawed and needy, turning to God who makes us enough and whole.)

• We are Insufficient, but God is Sufficient on Our Behalf, Making Us Whole, Worthy, and Complete When We Believe In Him and His Sacrifice, and Turn Toward Him

Not that we are adequate in ourselves so as to consider anything as having come from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.
—2 Corinthians 3:5

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in distresses, in persecutions, in difficulties, in behalf of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
—2 Corinthians 12:9-10

See to it that there is no one who takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception in accordance with human tradition, in accordance with the elementary principles of the world, rather than in accordance with Christ. For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over every ruler and authority.
—Colossians 2:8-10

If you’re going to take any verses with you from this theology/article/declaration, I hope it’s one of the last two:

• 2 Corinthians 12:9-10—God’s grace is sufficient for you; His power is made perfect in your weakness.

• Colossians 2:8-10—Do not be swept away by these worldly philosophies and deceptions, but be in accordance with Christ who makes you full and complete, or, in other words, enough.

This article isn’t meant to convince you that we can’t be proud of who we are or see the value we bring to this world. I hope you are and you do! Not alone in your own strength and accomplishments, but because of who God created you to be and how He has uniquely positioned you with dignity and value to do good works here. It’s not about hiding who you are; our faith invites a fuller picture of who you are through the loving, compassionate, gracious eyes of Jesus, not just how we see ourselves or how the world sees us.

If you’re reading this and living what some might call an “alternate” lifestyle that seems to be in opposition to how we are called to live by God’s standards, you may brush a lot of this off. That’s likely not because you’re struggling with the concept of whether or not what you’re doing or how you’re living is sinful, but more so because you’ve been convinced that what you’re doing is your identity.

If you’re divorced, you’re just a divorcee. If you drink too much, you’re just an alcoholic. If you are in a homosexual relationship, you’re just gay. If you are wealthy and not generous with your income, you’re just a selfish person. If you are introverted and actively choose to not participate in community, you’re just a loner. If you eat too much to try and cope with life, you’re just a glutton.

But none of those things stand in line with the truth of the gospel. You are not your decisions. You are not your sins. You are not the labels society (even Christian society) has tried to put on you. While those labels are harmful, the label of “enough” might be the most harmful of all because it convinces you that you are best as you are, and that leaves no room for hope, growth, or change. It leaves you stuck, a prisoner to your own self-made identity, whether you see it and believe it, or not.

Now, if you’re in the space of trying to discover what is actually a “sin” or not, that’s a whole different story, and all I can recommend is digging into Scripture honestly and humbly, with voices from all different perspectives speaking into your journey of discovery. Don’t let your bias or desires warp the truth God might have for you—that’s the hardest work of being a Christian.

People are gripping onto this “truth” for dear life, that they are enough and don’t need to change who they are or how they live. I hear and see it often because we want to ensure that people know they are loved as they are. So we create these manifestos of enoughness that subtly hinder people’s self-love, self-image, and trust in God because it directs them to trust in a self-imposed version of who they are without the full picture of imago dei (image of God).

In turn, I’d like to end this with a manifesto that we as believers can hold onto, declare to those we love or our internet spaces—one that speaks the same truth we’re all in need of and follows the truth of the gospel.

You are loved just as you are. You are valuable, worthy, created good and holy.

You are so loved and precious that the God of the entire universe who created the hairs on your head and the grains of sand on the beach desires relationship with you.

You are so loved that God conquered death to ensure you could be made whole and be reconciled to Him for eternity.

You are so loved that in all God’s infinite wisdom, He created a world where you can flourish with boundaries to protect and guide you.

You are made enough through the ultimate, unending, unconditional love of Jesus Christ who gave His life so you could live more fully and abundantly forever.

You are made enough because of who God is. Every part that in you that is lacking is filled and made complete when you receive Jesus’ love and turn your life toward His goodness and grace.

You are made enough, not by what you do or who you think you are, but by your adoption into God’s family as a child and heir of the King of Kings.

You are not enough without God, but God is always present.

When you receive the gift of grace into your heart, you are then and furthermore never without God.

Therefore, you are enough with God, and He is enough for you.

And even if you don’t yet believe that fully,
You are so loved just as you are.