I was standing in the kitchen, waiting for the water to boil so I could make some noodles.
Nothing was wrong and there were no emails, fires or big decisions pending. But my shoulders were up around my ears like I was about to be hit by something invisible.
That’s when I noticed it.
I wasn’t stressed about anything. I was just… ready.
For what? The next problem, the next interruption or the next disaster.
It’s a familiar posture when you’ve built businesses, managed crises and carried responsibility for a long time. I bet you can relate.
When things are quiet, you don’t relax, you hover and wait.
Even on “off” days, part of you stays online, waiting, listening and scanning. I spent years thinking this was just how capable people operate.
Always prepared, always ahead and always able to respond, no matter the circumstances. Heck, I even used to carry a bag filled with solutions to “what if” problems, like band aids for cuts, paper clips and a mini stapler, a screwdriver and Swiss Army knife.
Who does that?
What I didn’t realize (until my body forced the issue) was how much energy it takes to live like that. I’m not talking about big moments, just small ones. Things like standing at that stove, or walking the dog or opening the laptop to “just check one thing.”
Nothing was wrong.
But my system hadn’t gotten the memo. And when you live that way long enough, exhaustion doesn’t arrive loudly. It seeps in quietly, persistent and sometimes heavy.
(Like carrying that heavy supplies bag I forgot I was holding until my hand finally cramped).
I’m noticing it more now. The times I’m bracing and being ready for anything rather than living in the moment, not so ahead of myself.
I don’t have a takeaway today.
Or a fix.
Or more to do.
Just this moment.
If you’ve ever felt tired even when nothing was happening, you’re not broken.
You’ve just been “on” for a very long time. It doesn’t happen overnight, but anxiety will release. Calm will come back and so will focus, energy and joy.
The first step is simply admitting that you’ve been “on”, carrying a lot for a long time. That’s all.
P.S. If this felt familiar, you’re not alone.
You can hit reply and say “me too.” I read every message.
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