Ice Cream Mornings

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It’s 11.32am on a Monday morning. I’m sitting in my office, attempting to get some writing done. It’s not working particularly well. Beside me is a tub of Ben and Jerry’s (Caramel Brownie Party, to be specific) and a spoon. It’s an ‘eat ice cream out of the tub’ kind of morning.

These mornings come around only very occasionally. Ordinarily, I have ice cream in the evenings with my husband after the kids are in bed. But that day, I needed it. I’d had a busy weekend, with my son’s 3rd birthday party on Saturday and my daughter’s baptism on Sunday. We’d had a full house and, while I wouldn’t trade it for the world, the introvert in me was screaming.

I did proceed to make some writing progress, which was good because it had been a while. It was me and my ice cream, fighting writer’s block one spoonful at a time! And so, I don’t feel ashamed of my ice cream morning. This little treat to myself was definitely earned.

The postpartum period is weird. I’m beginning to feel more like myself, but at the same time, I’m conscious that I’m barely three months out from giving birth. My body is still adjusting to not carrying a big pregnancy belly and is working out how to manage on little sleep again. My hormones are still stabilising, so my emotions feel very unpredictable. I cry a lot, but I haven’t been happier.

Matthew 6:19-24

This passage from Matthew is quoted a lot, and I’ve seen it circulating on social media in recent days as a commentary on the actions of political leaders who seem to only care about themselves. “You cannot serve both God and money” is a good soundbite and holds so much important truth for our world today. But there’s so much more to the passage that interests me.

Eyes in Scripture hold both physical and figurative meanings. The eyes, as Jesus indicates here, were understood to be the gateway for understanding. Like the heart represents our desires and true being, the eyes represent our view of the world and are the driver of the decisions we make. For example, in Jesus’ day, to have an “evil eye” was to have a jealous or begrudging spirit, perhaps in the same way we may say today that someone is “green with envy.” A “good eye,” conversely, would signify a generous and kind spirit. Therefore, we can understand that Jesus is not talking about avoiding cataracts but instead viewing the world with a holy perspective.

Lamps illuminate. And so, if our eyes (as Jesus understands them here) hold an unhealthy perspective, that will spread and consequently come through in our actions. It will not be long before the whole body will be either full of light or full of darkness.

This is what leads us to the statement that “no one can serve two masters.” Servitude is a whole-body experience. It’s not just a head thing or just a heart thing. And it can’t be experienced by doing good things with our hands and feet, but not holding light and honouring truth internally. The embodiment of faith is something often forgotten, and yet it’s crucial for understanding what Jesus is talking about here.

Later, Jesus will say that people should cut off the body parts that are causing them to sin. This is not an instruction to dismember ourselves physically, but another acknowledgement of the embodied nature of the Christian faith. It takes all of ourselves, which is why one cannot serve God and serve money. The two are mutually exclusive, not because God wants us to starve, but because a deep and true love of money is insidious. It spreads quickly, sometimes silently, and soon it is all-consuming, just as Jesus says.

I remember being at a Christian conference some summers ago. The offering plate (well, it was more like a bucket) was passed around, and I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to empty my wallet into the little envelope under my chair. I was really struggling with a propensity to selfishly spend money at that time in my life. As I poured the pennies, pounds, and at least one guitar pick into the envelope, it was more than a donation. It was a moment of surrendering my greatest temptation and saying I didn’t want to carry it anymore.

You can’t serve God and money. Life is hard and it’s easy to want money, but God offers a better story. His provision is greater than any I could muster up for myself through my own means.

I still find money difficult. When I feel lonely, I fill the hole with stuff. I want to have new and nice things. And I desire things I don’t need for a whole host of unhelpful reasons.

But since turning my wallet upside down and offering my coins to God, I have become much more generous, much more willing to share my money with those who need it more than I do. I may even spend more money now, but it’s less on myself than it used to be. I finally feel like I’m serving God with my money and honouring the work happening in my community with the means I’ve been blessed with.

Good ice cream remains a priority in our grocery budget, but so is generously giving in abundance. My donation some summers ago probably didn’t amount to much, but a great outpouring has come from that small act of obedience. And that’s been the best blessing.

I hope this was helpful, or at least provoked some interesting thoughts. Please feel free to send it along to someone and encourage them today. If you want to connect with me in other ways, you can follow me on Instagram.

With much love and gratitude,
Stephanie