Joy Is A Finicky Little B... The Savoring No. 072

I don’t wake up filled with joy. Some mornings I wake up happier than others, but almost never would I describe my wakeup moment as “joyful.” The exception being on those mornings when I wake up to a packed car knowing I’m heading out on a road trip.

Unlike Otis, joy doesn’t just hover over me in the morning, whining so I’ll wake up and pay attention. Joy is much more elusive. She plays games, hides in plain sight. Makes you earn her magic.

Happiness, to me, is different. It’s the deep knowing that my life is good. That I love my family. That I am grateful for this life, even on the hard days. I’m happy. Always.

Joy is smaller. More magical and precious. She loves to play hard to get. She thrives on hard to keep.

I’ve done a lot of thinking about that lately. After my great cancer awakening in 2023, I thought joy was a destination. Like the finish line of a race. I’d break the ribbon, enter joy-phoria and live joyfully ever after.

I spent hours journaling, studying, getting a morning fireside masters degree in seeking joy. I spent hours, because all I had to do with my day was sit in a bubble at home and heal, noticing the small things. I found joy in every tree, bird and butterfly that crossed my path. And it was absolute bliss.

It turns out, it doesn’t work that way. Joy is a finicky little bitch and, unlike me in my 20s, she knows her worth. If you don’t give her the attention she desires and deserves, she packs her bags and hits reverse down your driveway.

As life got busier, my new business, health and social life regaining strength equally, I began to lose sight of the little things. I ran by what I had been quietly standing next to. I forgot to notice. And as joy does, it took leave.

I was happy, but I wasn’t finding joy. I was going through the motions again. So busy I forgot the purpose isn’t to do, it’s to seek joy in the doing. It was a gradual noticing.

Realizing I couldn’t remember the last time I felt a butterfly fly by, not just saw it. Or the last time I took joy in my morning writing instead of rushing through it to get to the next thing. Becoming aware that I couldn’t remember the last time I took a walk and noticed the beauty all around instead of focusing on the noise in my airpods.

This week I spent some time luring joy back home. I played in my garden daily. I talked to the butterflies and birds. Out loud. I went shopping for myself. I cooked without urgency. I listened to music on my walks instead of podcasts. I noticed life again. The miserable heat and humidity (just ask anyone who listened to me complain this week), but also the flowers, the way my coffee tastes and the beauty of a good rocking chair that sits under the protective shade of a large tree.

By Friday, I didn’t have to look out the window to know she was back, I could feel her car pulling up the driveway.

What I’m Watching
This week I have two movies to share. Opposite ends of the movie genre spectrum. Both fabulous. One is the one EVERYONE is talking about, The Odyssey. We all absolutely loved it. Highly recommend.

The second is an oldie but we just watched it for the first time last night. The Way Way Back. I love a good character driven movie that is just a small slice of life. Nothing big happens, we just get to see inside for a while.

What’s In Season
Shishito peppers. I am in love with these peppers. And eating a batch is a kind of Russian Roulette. About one in ten contains a eye watering kick. JJ and I take turns eating them. Which one will get it? Last night we got lucky.

The Savoring Dispatch Tracker
Six hundred and eighty-one of these hit the mail this week. Add that to my list of joy this week. I have this crazy idea that I want to get to 5500 in my 55th year. That’s insane right?

What I’m Drinking
Olives are so 2025. I tried some fresh cherry tomatoes in my celebratory martini Thursday night. Pretty and tasty.

Until next time friends, keep seeking what life has to savor.

Stefanie 💌