This post is in partnership with our friends at Beekeeper’s Naturals.
The greatest products are born from necessity. In Carly Kremer’s case, she tracked biotech companies from her perch at Goldman Sachs while going through a personal health struggle. In her own research and experience, she became consumed with the massive immune-system benefits of raw honey and bee propolis. From this obsession came Beekeeper’s Naturals, now a massive, cult-favorite brand of health products sold across the country.
Carly had her first daughter a few years after starting the company and went full-steam ahead. Calls almost right away, meetings soon after, and somehow found herself breastfeeding on stage at a major conference. The result? A full-throttled, in her words, “crash.” The postpartum anxiety set in—and with the support of her village, she realized she had to course-correct.
Below, Carly (now pregnant with her second child) talks to us about the genesis of Beekeeper’s; why going on an SSRI postpartum was the right choice for her; and how she plans to do maternity leave differently the second time around.
Words by Emily Barasch. Images by Maggie Shannon.
I started my first job out of school in finance. I ended up at Goldman Sachs and was working really insane hours. When I was there, I did a lot of biotech stuff. I would get to know these companies really well because I was making big bets with house money. I saw a lot of drugs get approved with outrageous side effects, and I learned how the system worked with for-profit research ethics boards in the U.S. It was kind of disheartening to me. I had struggled with my health, had my own journey there, and felt completely lost in what I was doing.
Working in finance, there just were not a lot of women around me. I think the culture has changed a lot since then, but I wasn’t seeing that. I always felt this pull of, do the things I really want in life completely conflict? I hope to demonstrate [to my own kids] what it’s like to be working pretty aggressively and be a mom as well. But I just didn’t have a lot of role models for that.
I really didn’t enjoy Goldman. One, I was working all night, so I kind of had no life. And two, it just wasn’t the culture I was interested in. It wasn’t what I was passionate about.
I didn’t enjoy it culturally. It didn’t feel like there was a purpose for me. I didn’t see role models, male or female, who were showing any sense of balance in their life. I was really unhappy, but I had a good-on-paper job.
It sounds insane to leave a job that’s paying off your college debt to start a bee-product medicine company. In the early days, when I told people about it, everyone was like, “Okay, chill out. Stay where you are. This is a bad idea.” I got to a point where I had to listen to myself and trust my intuition. That’s kind of guided me in motherhood as well.
So I left Goldman to start my company. I started Beekeepers in 2017. I think it was 2018 or 2019 when I froze my eggs because I was so focused on work. I didn’t think I was going to start my family on a timeline that coincided with my work.
Then really soon into that process, I met my now partner. We connected, we both wanted the same things, and we decided to start a family pretty soon after we got married.
My daughter was born three weeks early. I actually went into labor during a board meeting, which is hilarious. My husband forced me to go to the hospital. I thought I was fine. Honestly, in hindsight, this is going to sound psychotic, but I probably could have finished my presentation. Everyone was like, “Get out of here.”
Maternity leave was definitely a challenge. I had originally planned to take a three-month’s, and I ended up dipping in and out starting at six weeks. I was really struggling with nursing and some pretty severe postpartum anxiety. At that stage, my company wasn’t set up in a way where I could completely disengage. Or maybe it wasn’t the company—maybe it was me. It’s hard to say.
In hindsight, my postpartum experience was kind of insane. I definitely pushed myself too hard. At six weeks, I was taking a bunch of calls and pushing myself to go to occasional meetings, always bringing her with me. At two months postpartum, I was speaking at the Greylock Summit with two other CEOs—the CEO of Everlane and the CEO of Justin’s. So two guys and me. I was on stage breastfeeding while we were having a debate about scaling sustainability.
I got prolapse from doing too much. It was a low stage, and with physical therapy I was able to recover, but it was definitely frustrating because I was already physically uncomfortable from giving birth very recently, and then I was much more uncomfortable.
The additional mental load of pumping, being away, being away from your little one, and all the stress of that—it was really intense. I didn’t really know what I was doing. I was trying to please everyone, not let anyone down, and not drop any balls. And I crashed.
My anxiety got so bad. We live by the beach, and I was visualizing tsunamis hitting while I was out of town. Just crazy stuff. It got so bad that I started having panic attacks. I would be speaking on a stage, then go into a back room to pump and have a panic attack, then clean myself up and go to another meeting. It was kind of insane.
One of my best friends, who had gone through some pretty intense postpartum stuff, suggested I needed help. I ended up finding a really great therapist. I went on an SSRI, which was hard for me because I’m the sort of person who absolutely believes in modern medicine, but I also think there are a lot of natural ways to do things. I have a mistrust of a lot of pharmaceuticals because I don’t think they’re considering the whole body.
So I did a ton of research. Again, I turned to the Beekeepers Naturals Medical Advisory Board, which is full of amazing pediatricians, functional doctors, and traditional physicians. I had a really good network to lean on.
I made the choice to get more support, and it made a huge difference. I didn’t feel the same pressure, and I started to create my version of balance. If you look at my actions, it’s not like they changed that dramatically, but the way I was reacting to everything did.
I’m kind of readying myself to be on an SSRI next postpartum experience. I had some pretty dark moments, and I think the fact that I was trying to act like I was fine made it harder. It was such a new experience for me that I didn’t even totally identify that I wasn’t okay. It took other people close to me calling me out, which I’m very grateful for.
You can read Carly’s Substack, Clean Thoughts here and follow her on Instragram here.
1.) THROAT SOOTHING POPS; 2.) SALINE NASAL SPRAY MAX; 3.) PROPOLIS IMMUNE SUPPORT DAILY THROAT SPRAY; 4.) KIDS PROPOLIS IMMUNE SUPPORT; 5.) SUPERFOOD HONEY; 6.) PROPOLIS SOOTHING LOZENGES.
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