You are not the litmus test

“And I understand why she did that. I mean, that’s exactly what I would have done.”

If you’ve said anything remotely similar to that, we stand in the same place. It’s an incredibly human thing to do, to compare. We compare ourselves to others in different ways, whether it’s our bodies, our careers, or our love lives.

But there is a kind of comparison where we launch an attempt to take on divinity, cloak ourselves in God-ness. And that is using ourselves as a litmus test. This isn’t an issue of envy, the usual root of comparison. No, instead it is the use of comparison where we are the criteria, we set the bar, the authority of what’s okay and what is not.

And it seems harmless. I’ve used this framework for thinking, even when trying to provide grace for another person. But this still doesn’t address the hidden heart posture of using ourselves as a litmus test.

In fact, the only portion of Scripture (at least that I’ve ever read) that allows us to use ourselves as bar-setters is in regard to how we love others. Matthew 22:39 tells us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.

What Jesus is doing here is actually graciously exposing our hearts. He knows how much humans love themselves, and He calls that right to the forefront and instructs us to have that kind of love for others. Because if we had the power, what would we not do for ourselves?

That is a relentless and unbridled kind of love, to do anything for yourself if you could. Which, in turn, brings us to the question of whether we are willing to love others with that kind of love.

Maybe we don’t have to understand at all why someone did what they did. Maybe it’s not our business. Can we be a part of a conversation where someone’s choices and actions are brought up, and not jump to using ourselves as the voice of authority, even in well-meaning moments?

I think Paul’s charge in 1 Thessalonians 4:11 to make an effort to live a quiet life and to mind our own business is freeing. In so many ways, we insert ourselves in attempts for divinity that burden our souls and leave us tired without even understanding why.

Because at the end of the day, it is your judgment or word that has never cleared a soul for entry to heaven, nor even given them wages for their good or wrong doing. Our judgment simply does not matter. What we are gifted to do is what actually gives life to our souls, because God has lavished His grace on us to be able to do them.

It’s work like forgiveness, business-minding, mercy-giving, that helps bring our souls to rest. We will actually be able to function when we do these things. In Christ, these are in our design.

Whether I understand why something was done or not, whether I would have done it or not, really doesn’t make a difference. At its best, this line of thought is a faux-self-soothing balm, and at its worst, an attempt to play God.

With love,

Rebecca