A shimmering portal materializes in front of you. A wizened old man with a wild beard, a wide-brimmed pointy hat, and a long flowing robe steps out. 'Tis ...
Bursts out of a portal covered in scorch marks and smelling of sulfur Holy Astral Turbo-Dragon! That was a close one. What? Oh, I was just fighting a demon. The arch-devil Lord Writingblock himself, keeper of the infernal archive 1 , in fact. I barely made it out alive this time. That son of a leech is ever at my heels, thirsting for my blood. But not today! I banished that scoundrel to the Fourth…
From the depths of the rift crawled a gobliniod creature. I---who had studied the Bestiary of Thwetch and read Sbibley's Guide to Goblins cover to cover---could not recognize it. It was a small, hunched, impish figure, with gray skin as if it dwelt underground and shunned all light. It pawed the stones with dexterous fingers like insects, restlessly clutching. The hands were warped, somehow…
After indulging in the delicacies of the great fraudster McDonald , I remembered my vow to obtain one the metal vehicles Earthlings use for transportation, and dissect it for the purposes of understanding what alchemical fires drive its engines. I soon located one such chariot, parked in front of a building with the cryptic placard reading, "Taco Bell". Seeing as no one was currently using this…
Hello again! Now, where was I? Feeling a trifle peckish , I searched for victuals among the sprawling roadways, the stony lots where the iron beasts roosted, and the impersonal shops of urban Earth. (Note to self: I shall soon investigate the countryside; I fear I may go mad if I linger in this city, this hurricane of sound and motion, for too long.) Seeing signs for "hamburgers", I elected to try…
Upon my arrival in this realm, I was greeted with noise. This peculiar rushing sound of motorized chariots is ever-present, even on the outskirts of settlements. Near roads, the roar of motors and cacophony of horns drowns out even my thoughts. It's a wonder the inhabitants of this realm---Earth, as I believe they call it---don't go mad from the din. I first I thought they must find it appealing,…