Being OK with Uncertainty

Yesterday, I was coaching a client Kathy who is grappling with uncertainty about what her career will look like, when she finishes her degree.

We talked about the expertise she’s gained through her studies and the practical skills she has developed.

We sat side by side, talking through how to manage the challenge of uncertainty and the feeling of not knowing what the future might hold for her.

Then she said something unexpected.

“No matter what happens, I’ve learned I can cope with what life brings,” she said.

“I’ve realised through our coaching, that wanting to control every outcome of my life is emotionally draining.”

“Being stuck in a loop of craving certainty doesn’t move me closer to getting a result.”

That’s true, I said.

You can want the future to turn out a certain way.

You can hope your future turns out a particular way.

But you have no guarantees.

What can be more helpful is examining your actions and asking: are my actions moving me closer to my ideal future or away from it?

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Your brain likes certainty

Craving certainty is part of our physiology.

Your brain likes what’s familiar, black and white, good or bad.

And brains work on pattern recognition, to conserve energy.

So it can be useful to look back in your own life for patterns.

I helped Kathy do this as well.

We explored how she had already dealt with significant change in her life when she lost her parents.

She tapped into a resilience she didn’t realise she had, to get through an immense period of grief.

And she gave herself time to be OK with not being OK, rather than feeling like she had to ‘bounce back’.

Taking the pressure off herself gave her the emotional space to start building a new life, even if it was one she wasn’t expecting.

When we reflected on Kathy’s experience, I realised something that helped me during times of transition.

When it comes to dealing with change, you are not starting from scratch.

You bring all your experience, wisdom and life learning with you.

Whatever season of life you are in right now has been built on whatever has come before.

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to recognise you never leave your past experiences behind.

You bring wisdom with you, in how you show up in the present and the future.

And the same goes for your yet unwritten future.

I hope you have found this article helpful.

How do you deal with uncertainty?

I love getting your replies and will respond to all the comments.

Take care, Soph x