Chapter Fifty Four

Hey you!

How are things? Oh my goodness, it’s been so long since I wrote to you! Substack has made many changes and I’m figuring it out as I go along. How have you been though, friend? I’ve missed this. The universe always makes a mockery of our plans, doesn’t it? Oh well, we’ll just keep on moving on.

My reason for writing is this, I have a random side quest that I’m about to embark on and I thought I’d journal and share the experience with you just like I did in Chapter 52.

So, this activity isn’t particularly unique but it’s something I haven’t done before. Babysitting. Yup. You read that right. In the past, I have “minded” a child or two at the airport, at a party, when people have come over to visit but nothing that has exceeded an hour. That’s why this is kind of a big deal to me.

A friend of mine who kinda lives in the area has a 1-year old child who is usually in the care of grandparents and the nanny while she and her husband(who is also my friend) are at work. It was a last minute ask but I had always told her to hit me up if she was in need of help because my work allows me some flexibility and the time has come.

I’ll be staying 9-5 with this child from Monday till Wednesday, inshallah. I was enthusiastic when agreeing but now, I’m scared shitless. Where did I even find the confidence to agree to this?!? I’m not qualified to take on the task of keeping a small human alive. OH MY GOD! What would we even say to each other? And what if she doesn’t like my vibe and cries the entire time? I’m actually freaking out.

It’s 9am and I’ve arrived, nervous AF.

First half(9am -12pm): My cheeks hurt from smiling so much and that’s because I was “putting on” the cheer. She is slowly warming up to me but I greatly underestimated how much energy it takes to do the high pitch baby voice. A straight face is not allowed it seems because she withdraws into herself when I do that. Eventually, I started playing BTS and she was enjoying it, we listened to one of my playlists and the new album, ARIRANG. At the end of this side quest, she will be a fan.

She is now napping. While I feel relieved, I’m not tired because she’s a ball of sunshine and it’s so satisfying getting a smile out of her.

Second half(2pm-5pm): The day is over now and this felt like soft work. Okay, there was a nanny to assist and all I had to do was play with her. I’m already looking forward to tomorrow though but I should research some activities I could do with her in a limited space. I did feel like I was in prison because we were confined to the living room and her bedroom. It would have been so cool if there was an outdoor play area but that’s me romanticizing the experience(right?) I tried to read to her but alas, she was only interested in tearing or eating the book. hehehe

For someone who has never spent time with a baby for a long time without the parent in shouting distance, I think I did great.

First half(9:30am-12:30pm): I knew I had it easy yesterday. Today’s eating time was hell for her. Well, she made it hell for herself because she really didn’t want to eat anything at all. We played for quite some time and by play, I mean I watched her play with those hardback children books and repeated yaaaay and great job after every single act. I eventually clocked that while I was trying to get her to smile, she was also doing all sorts of acts to get me to do the yaaay. Isn’t that fascinating?

She is sleeping now.

Second half(1:10pm-5pm): That break was short. She was completely resistant to eating today, all she wanted to do was play. While there was lots of playtime today, I’m feeling bad because it would be so much fun if we could go outside, run and tire ourselves but all we can do is play in the living room which is just 4 white walls. Today there was TV time and by that, I mean the popular baby whisperer, Ms Rachel and I’m convinced she and her crew are on some type of substance to be able to keep smiling all through shooting their videos. My cheeks still hurt from smiling and I haven’t smiled again since I returned to my house. I’m more tired because I didn’t eat much in solidarity with the little human(I won’t be doing that ever again because there must be crack in her formula)

Oh no, it’s the last day!

First half(9am-1pm): And my period decided to start. Ugh. Anyhooo, baby girl only wanted to play and be held today, for some weird reason. Did she maybe know it would be our last day together? I already miss her which is why I pushed through the cramps and gave in to every request. I was also able to scam her into eating by making her hold my plantain chips. I’ve seen stuff like this on TikTok and I’m shocked it worked, ha!

Sleep time was 45 minutes.

Second half(2pm-5:45pm): Parents were a little late today but I didn’t mind it at all, this experience has been enlightening. To all parents in the world, thank you for your service. We played some more and listened to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen on a loop and she danced to it. Eventually she drank so me formula and passed out and didn’t wake up in time to tell me bye. Why am I feeling teary-eyed now?

Final thoughts: I’ve always known it’s difficult job, but damn even with the support, I could see how this would take a strain on anyone and people have more than one!?! I need to get a gift for my mom asap. I am happy to be part of the village that supports those who take on this task and I hope a lot more people think more before embarking on this journey of making a human being. I enjoyed this experience a lot.

I hope to write to you again soon.

Please remember to hydrate, eat well, sleep well so you can poop well. Most importantly, don’t forget to give yourself the grace you always extend to others. You need it too, okay?

See you on the other side, Dearest.

XOXO