What to buy for a new mum

This Summer three years ago, I was heavily pregnant with what I’m almost certain will be my last baby. It was so, so hot and uncomfortable, so undignified - waddling about and pushing myself in and out of seats. Looks of pity from complete strangers wafted over me as I flapped my fan into the hot still air, without even the refreshing solace of an Aperol Spritz. My feet were swollen, and all I could fit onto them was Teva velcro sandals adjusted to maximum width. My discomfort felt quite isolating, especially since this was my second child and I didn’t have any new mum groups to hang onto - your first baby is where the real fanfare happens, not so much the one(s) after. So, I did what I often do when I’m feeling out of sorts and a bit lonely: I went shopping. I bought myself all the things I knew would make then next surreal year of life with a newborn and a toddler more comfortable. I knew this time, you see, what to expect - I basically created the all time top tier baby shower registry, then got it for myself. And I didn’t need a balloon arch.

This post is my guide for what to get for a new mum, or if you are about to be one. It’s not the big, expensive stuff like car seats and prams, or the cute useless stuff like a tiny flatcap for a six month old. It’s the gift she will thank you for at 4am, bugged out on no sleep - the stuff that will make her feel known, considered (and as the kids say) seen. And none of it above £50, which is the unspoken extravagance threshold for presents these days, I find. Remember that when it comes to baby stuff, especially newborn stuff, almost everything is available second hand on Vinted, Ebay or the mad world of Facebook Marketplace. I would not mind being given something second hand in the slightest, but you will know your audience better, of course.

I also feel I must mention: I’m sorry if this post makes you feel shitty. It might! Pregnancy and babies and families are extremely emotive. I have two, and there is a version of my life where I would have had more, or none. It wasn’t so much a choice as a set of circumstances: meeting a nice bloke at about the right time, him wanting them too, our reproductive systems cooperating. I experienced loss and yearning and hideous medical complications and none of it was completely smooth sailing. But it is what it is for me, and I wish you every success in getting what you want. We should all be so lucky.

Ok, onwards.

Yes, I’m going straight in there with the nipple chat. Giving birth is so messy, it’s practically medieval. If you are squeamish you will have to quickly get over that. This is one of the many straightforward truths you are shielded from as a first time expectant mum, and I for one was livid that they had not been spoken more plainly to me. Childbirth HURTS. Breastfeeding HURTS (at first). Having a baby is NOT EASY. You’re not doing anything wrong if it feels hard and painful, because it is. Silver nipple covers admit those truths and offer you a solution: they are extremely effective at healing a raw nipple between feeds. They sound a bit snake oily, and are circa £40, so your your pregnant friend will not likely have bought them yet - but she will thank you profusely when she needs them and they are right there instead of a 48 hour delivery away. Silver nipple shields, people. Trust me.