Hi smarties! You know I’m always talking about becoming more high agency & why that pay off is so good. Let’s go over some common misconceptions… because you do not need a new personality, a dramatic reinvention or a perfectly optimized morning routine to enter your next era.
You just need to make a few better decisions, and repeat them until they become evidence of who you are.
High agency is not believing you can control everything, it is trusting yourself to do something intelligent with whatever happens!
Here are five small shifts that will change the way you move through your life.
& Start asking, “What outcome do I want?”
“What should I do?” makes you search for an existing script.
“What outcome do I want?” forces you to think strategically.
Maybe you don’t need to follow the conventional path. Maybe you need to send the email, create your own role, ask for an introduction or build something that doesn’t exist yet.
High-agency people do not just choose between the options presented to them. They create a third option.
This is why I always tell you how imperative it is that you think independently.
Start collecting evidence instead.
Confidence does not arrive before you do the difficult thing, it’s actually built afterward.
Every time you keep a promise to yourself, finish what you started, survive an uncomfortable conversation or figure something out without being rescued, you collect evidence that you can trust yourself.
Do not wait to feel like her/him. Give yourself proof that you already are that person.
Start reading it.
Social intelligence is knowing that not every thought needs to be announced, every misunderstanding needs to be corrected or that every person deserves access to you.
Pay attention to who has influence and notice what people do when there is nothing to gain. Listen for what is not being said.
Warmth and discernment can coexist. (This was a big lesson I had to learn in my life, as an ex-people-pleaser)
You can be kind without being easy to manipulate and you can still be open without being available to everyone! You can remain quiet without making yourself small.
Sometimes the most powerful person in the room is just the one paying attention.
Start using it as information.
Envy often reveals a desire you have been too afraid (or too embarrassed) to admit.
Instead of judging yourself, get specific.
Do you want her life, or do you want her freedom? Her relationship, or the way she is loved? Her career, or the permission she gave herself to be ambitious?
You do not have to become someone else. But you should be honest about what your reaction is trying to teach you.
Self-awareness becomes power when you do something with it.
Start becoming option rich.
One job should not hold your entire identity, and one relationship should not determine your worth. One person’s approval should not decide whether you believe in your future.
Build the skill
Save the money
Maintain the friendships
Make the introduction.
Develop the second idea.
Options do not make you disloyal or detached. They make you difficult to trap.
And sometimes, the sexiest thing someone can possess is the ability to choose without fear.
Your next era does not begin when everything around you changes. It begins when you change.
When you stop waiting to be chosen. & when you stop confusing overthinking with preparation, and when you stop performing power and start quietly building it.
You do not need to become a completely different person this week. Just make one decision she would be proud of. That feeling will lead you to your next decision, and this will become a repeated habit, which then becomes your identity.
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