What is America to You, JD?

JD Vance, by and large, could be the most revolting member of the ascendant ultra-right that is ruling America with its sweaty iron fist at the moment. It’s hard to find a less genuine, more mendacious and at the same time more full of himself character in American politics not named Ted Cruz. And, considering that JD has actually built his entire persona around his blue-collar heartland bona fides while being in thrall of a Silicon Valley billionaire techno bro, probably puts him a touch ahead of ole Ted in the “less genuine” part of it. It’s hard to quantify the amount of sleaze this guy generates with each public utterance. Pretty much everything emanating from under that beard, including his face, is just, as the youngs say, cringe AF. Of course, he himself probably looks in the mirror every day and sees the absolute coolest dude ever, no doubt.

And it was with this exact sense of self-aggrandizement combined with noble self-victimhood, the areas which his boss is the absolute Jedi master of, that Vice President JD took stage at a Turning Point USA event to talk about what it means to be American.

Responding to a question from the audience, this human-shaped balloon of hot piss told the story of how he Yanksplained America to his father-in-law or whatever. This Yankspalantion, apparently, included a story of his bravely standing up to a Ukrainian-American voter in Cleveland who wanted to bully JD into supporting “[his] country.” One can only imagine he subway scene from Seinfeld, right?

According to JD’s speech, by and by, he considers stopping funding for Ukraine one of his proudest achievements as Vice President. Which, I guess, is logical considering his other achievements are depressing Pope Francis to death, dooming Viktor Orban’s campaign and making an absolute mess of the Iran peace talks. “We’ve gotten out of this business”, JD declared while regaling the audience with the story of how he told the Ukrainian voter what it means to be an American. Not referring to Ukraine as “my country” is apparently step one.

I am not sure how well this goes with his boss’s constant assertions that American Jews should and must consider Israel their country, but let’s leave this hot latke where it’s at for now. Let’s focus on the “business” JD got America out of. What is this “business”, JD? And, while we are at it, what do you think being an American actually is?

As to the business at hand, it has always been my impression (and, while an immigrant, I am a bit older than JD and the difference in the duration of our American experience is quite negligible) that America always based its assertion of being “the greatest nation on Earth” on its carefully crafted image as the defender of freedom and democracy worldwide. Now, obviously, America, to be extremely gentle and generous here, hasn’t always quite lived up to this idea. But at least it has tried. At the very least, it has paid lip service to it. At the very, very least. Lip goddamned service! It was there, somewhere, in our mission statement. It was in our fucking yearly planet improvement plan. Defenders of democracy. Promoters of freedom. Helpers for those who need protection from tyranny. I am pretty sure we have at least said all those things. This was the “business” Trump and JD got us out of, right?

Because this was what we were doing for Ukraine. A country whose only crime was wanting to be America’s friend. A country who was invaded by a fascist tyrannical empire for wanting to become a part of the Western political eco-system. For wanting to be free and democratic. The shit we should be, and were, all over, you know. But are not anymore. Because Trump and JD have decided that America is no longer about this.

What is it about, then? How do you assholes define America now? What is it to you? I assume, it’s just a place on a map now. A territory with rigidly defined borders. Or, maybe, not so rigidly, since Trump (undoubtedly taking a page from the abovementioned fascist tyranny) is actively trying to expand them. But, either way, what else, besides a place on the map, is America to these folks?

One would only be left to assume that, taking into account his high-handed Yanksplanations of American-ness to folks like a Ukrainian immigrant and his own Indian father-in-law, America is a country for, of and by white Anglo-Saxon folks. America is a country where people are subdivided into well defined categories. On the top are “real Americans”: people who look like JD himself and, of course, his boss. Below them are folks who, bless their hearts, try to be “real Americans” and can be reasonably well tolerated provided they know their place and vote the right way. These are folks like his father-in-law, his wife, the woman who asked him the question at Turning Point USA and all the MAGA-adoring heavily-accented throngs from Brighton Beach in Brooklyn and Little Havana in Miami. His real boss Peter Thiel and Elon Musk, obviously, belong to the tax bracket that has its own national designation. And then, of course, there are folks who are not and never will be “real Americans”. Folks like the Ukrainian voter in Ohio who foolishly thought America was about supporting democracy and freedom. Folks like me.

The United States, under Trump and JD, has indeed gotten out of the business of being the greatest and freest nation on Earth. It has giddily jumped into the business of oil racketeering, empire building, monster-cuddling and transactional favors involving no moral choices whatsoever. Which, one might argue, it has always dabbled in anyway.

At least, JD has found one way to be genuine, right? But I will be dead before I give the smug sleazeball any credit for it.