Most people change careers backwards

I used to think I could reinvent myself by dreaming big, writing a plan, and then just … getting on with it. How very independent of me.

I thought my future self was hiding somewhere inside me, waiting to be released if I let it.

I don’t think this anymore, because I now have evidence.

Career change is much messier and more social.

We discover ourselves through interactions, feedback, and being in different rooms.

We think we want this one very specific thing, but what we actually want is the most visible version of that dream.

For example, lots of performers and storytellers dream of becoming actors.

But acting is just one of the most recognised, socially validated ways of telling stories and performing.

There are so many other ways.

You could be a children’s theatre performer, a presenter, a comedian, a content creator, a workshop facilitator, a drama teacher, or a public speaker.

Same essence, different container.

I know an actress who thought she wanted to be a mainstream actress for years. She did endless auditions, got a few well-known roles, and then realised she hated the entire ecosystem around it: the schmoozing, waiting to be chosen, relying on other people’s judgment to make a living.

Eventually, she pivoted into doing theatre for children in schools and theatres.

She absolutely loves it now. This new role allows her to be much more animated, camp, expressive, and fully herself. There is also less competition, which means she now works consistently as an actress, rather than being a jobbing one.

She didn’t give up on her dream, she found a version of it that suited her better.

There is usually more than one way to do what you want.

The only way to find out which possible self is worth pursuing is to flirt with it in the real world.

I love the word “flirt” because it captures both the seriousness and unseriousness of career change.

When you flirt with a possible self, you’re not marrying it, you’re just seeing if there’s chemistry.

You teach one class, write one article, launch one tiny offer, and see what happens.

Most career changes don’t happen in one lightbulb moment. They happen in fragments, socially, by testing your ideas with people.

A coffee with a stranger you DM’d on LinkedIn. A client who pays you for something you didn’t realise was valuable. A weird internet person casually making £30,000 a month from an income source you didn’t even know existed.

This is why you need new role models. These people are already living in the world you’re curious about. You need to stand close enough to them for long enough that your sense of what’s “normal” starts to change.

This is the only way you find out who you are becoming.

I love presenting and self-expression in every form, as you’ve probably gathered by now 😊

So 3 months ago, I started an Instagram and TikTok account @TanyaSlash.

I am making a mixture of talking-head videos, voiceovers, and text-based content. One of my videos went viral and got almost 1 million views. I gained almost 1,000 subscribers and around 50 new Substack readers in 1 month.

Then, a company saw one of my talking head videos and DM’d me about an opportunity to do a video series for their brand.

This led to my first spokesperson deal.

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