Younger Selves: Anna Hochberger

Younger Selves is an interview series exploring the connection between our past and present selves. It’s a chance to better understand how our earliest years, and even decades, have shaped who we are today, while showcasing the importance of honoring our younger selves throughout our lives.

Anna Hochberger is a 32-year-old content marketer and strategist, who grew up in Pompano Beach, Florida and now lives in Gainesville. Anna is also the author of Just Bring Yourself, a newsletter dedicated to sharing what she’s cooking, baking, and/or eating on a daily basis. Reading Anna’s newsletter feels like going over to a friend’s house for dinner and I am always so impressed by her constant creativity when it comes to preparing food. Below, Anna talks about her childhood love of painting, learning that friendship isn’t something you ever have to prove, the importance of alone time, why shifting to remote work in 2018 was the biggest game-changer in her personal and professional life, and so much more.

Erfweiler–my dad’s home village in Germany. Maybe a thousand people, nestled in rolling hills and surrounded by forest. I was born and raised in the States, but it holds more of my blood and bones than probably anywhere else on Earth.

I loved drawing and painting as a child! I asked for art supplies for four Christmases straight. My mother was an artist and majored in visual arts in college, so I suppose creativity runs in the family. My gallery walls keep the score for sure.

I wanted to be an architect something fierce, but I suck at math, so that dream died pretty quickly. I still deeply appreciate the art form, and my grandmother very kindly gifted me my first Architectural Digest subscription when I was 11, so I’ve been hooked ever since.

I grew up in South Florida, always within three miles of a beach. I didn’t appreciate it nearly as much as I do now, but I can confidently say I wouldn’t be who I am now if I had grown up somewhere else. The culture, the climate, the mangoes, the knowing that we were/are our own thing, it’s special. Being a third-culture kid in a place where no one blinked at me having parents from different continents was immensely beneficial to me as a human and my general worldview.

I drew and painted a lot as a child. I don’t pursue those media anymore (I should, though), but that same creative vein has now evolved into photos, writing, and, more and more, design. I consider my life my biggest art project; there’s no need to limit myself to just canvas or a piece of paper.

This is probably a somewhat controversial take, but The Maiden (Die Jungfrau) by Gustav Klimt. One of Klimt’s last paintings, it features seven nude women all intertwined, representing the various phases of a woman’s life.

My mother had a giant reproduction of it in our dining room, which was also the primary focal point of our house, and I sat directly across from it during every meal. A lot of people, naturally, viewed it sexually. For me, it was always a representation of the divine feminine. I aspired to embody the essence of that painting, and now, as an adult with a print of it in my own home, I feel like I’m finally there.

My family actually didn’t do home videos. My dad died when I was four, and my brother was born seven months later, so a lot of my early years were sort of shuffled in tumult. That being said, a couple of years ago, one of my grandmother’s cousins found a very, very old home video of her mother running around her house with my dad, who couldn’t have been more than four at the time, and his cousins. It wasn’t my childhood, but I immediately started to cry. It was really sweet to see my dad as a little boy playing with his cousins and their grandma in her element, chasing after them with a smile on her face.

As a child, my home life was volatile for several reasons, but I always had great friends and found belonging with chosen family. The latter is still very true. My understanding of “home” now is a calm nervous system in a cozy house with a very cute (15-year-old) puppy, where friends feel comfortable coming as they are for a meal or a cup of tea. Basically, everything 13-year-old me wanted. It’s a very sweet full circle.

I became the keeper of the family photos when I was about eight–and still am. I never got to meet many of the people in the photos, but I know their names when my cousins ask, and earlier this year, our great-grandmother’s 90-year-old grandfather clock finally made its way across the ocean to my house. It was some sweet, subtle foreshadowing.

When I was in the fifth grade, I was chosen to write a speech for our elementary school graduation. I don’t remember any of it, but I do remember the last line: “May we always remember that together, we can make a difference”–the last half of that was the school motto. Lots of “awwws” came from the audience, and I realized I had a way with words. Flash forward 25 years, and I play with words for a living.

I went to the University of Florida, which is also why I live in Gainesville. I majored in Women’s Studies and triple-minored in International Relations, Teaching English as a Second Language, and German. I got into Georgetown’s School of Foreign Service for grad school, but opted to forgo my acceptance because I didn’t want to take out six figures in loans. Needless to say, I’m very grateful I didn’t!

Contrary to what everyone said/says about my major, I use my degree all the time. It gave me a lens to view the world and my work, while encouraging us to think critically about the status quo and identify opportunities for positive disruption. I’d argue that’s more important than ever.

One of my biggest breakthroughs as an adult was realizing I can’t set myself on fire to keep other people warm–personally or professionally. Understanding that, and the degree to which I was overcompensating in friendships and relationships, or even at work, led me to realize I was putting much more time and energy in than I was getting back. It took some time, but I know my worth now, and I’m not afraid to leave if it’s not being recognized. No matter the setting.

I’m very lucky in that most of my closest friends have been my close friends for 20+ years. Last year, my best friend since kindergarten very tragically passed away, and it really made me understand how unique our dynamic was; how rare it is to have a person who holds the keys to your younger self. If anything, I’ve come to understand friendship isn’t something you ever have to prove. It just is.

Bebe Anna was deeply insecure and an anxious mess, and for valid reasons. I’m the eldest daughter in an immigrant household and had to do most things on my own, so I learned to be hyperindependent at an early age. I’ve done a lot of work unpacking all that over the years, but in high-stress moments, when I’m tempted to just figure it out on my own or convince myself I don’t need anyone, I can feel her looking back at me.

Shifting to remote work in 2018 was hands down the biggest game-changer in my personal and professional life to date. I went from constantly feeling overstimulated and drained in a traditional 9-5 office setting to being able to structure my days how I choose (sans meetings, of course). Some days, that looks like taking a 3-mile hike at lunch, some days it’s working from a coffee shop, some days it’s staying in pajamas and working on the couch. Having that flexibility grants me the freedom to make room for the things that make me feel like me.

This is very recent, but swimming! Between the beach and my grandmother’s pool, I was always in the water when I was younger. A couple of months ago, I bought myself a wetsuit and a pair of goggles to swim the springs, and it was the best money I’ve spent all year.

I was very quiet growing up and enjoyed my alone time more than anything (read: introvert), and while I’m significantly more bubbly and outspoken as a grownup, I try to honor that part of myself as much as possible. As the saying goes, we have to secure our own oxygen masks before assisting others, and my alone time is still the best way for me to recharge.

Not unique, I’m afraid, but to be comfortable standing up for and prioritizing my own wants, needs, and emotions.

Living alone in a chic house that’s decorated exactly how I want it :) I shared a room until high school and was very much a “bedroom kid” growing up, so having my own space was a dream for most of my formative years. We all hang out in the living room now.

Read everything, travel as often as you can, and limit your screen time as much as possible. An extensive vocabulary and a well-used passport will take you farther than most things in life.

Oof. 14/15 for sure. I’d hug her more than anything, but my biggest advice would be to just keep swimming, trust yourself, love yourself, and remember to consider the best-case scenario, too. You’ve got this, even if other people don’t quite understand.

Thank you so much to Anna for sharing your younger self with us! You can read more of Anna’s writing and get all of her recipes by subscribing to Just Bring Yourself or following her on Instagram.

If there’s someone you’d like to see featured on Younger Selves (maybe that’s you!) feel free to leave a comment or send me an email at hello@skylarallen.co.

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