Something shifted for me in the last few months. I started showing up differently — more honestly, more openly — and I wasn’t entirely sure how people would receive it. Turns out, I had nothing to worry about.
If you’ve been following my stories lately, you’ll know that I’ve been leaning into more personal conversations with you all — relationships, family dynamics, boundaries, the stuff that doesn’t necessarily fit in a skincare focus. And yesterday, something happened that stopped me in my tracks and made me want to sit down and actually write about why I’ve been doing this, and what it’s been giving me in return.
A while back, I posted a video about narcissistic family dynamics, and I’ll be honest, I went back and forth about whether to post it at all. It felt personal. But I had gotten to a point where constant performing in my personal life had drained me. So in this new season, honouring myself has become a non-negotiable for me, and authenticity has become a non-negotiable for me. So I posted it. Watch the video below:
In the video, I talked about something that I don’t think gets discussed enough, and that’s narcissistic families, particularly from the lens of dating into one.
The DMs came flooding in. Women who recognised themselves in what I was describing, women who were trying to leave situations, women who had already left and finally felt seen. But one message in particular stayed with me. A woman told me she had been in the middle of making one of the biggest decisions of her life — and my video helped her make it.
I genuinely didn’t know what to do with that. I still don’t, entirely. The idea that me just being honest about something I’d lived through could reach someone at that exact moment, when they needed it most, touched my soul. It reminded me why I do what I do, and WHY the work is so important.
If you’re a woman who resonates with any of this — whether you’re trying to find clarity on a decision you’re about to make, or one you’ve already made — I want you to remember these realisations that I’ve come to myself recently.
Keep it simple. Whilst your situation is nuanced and likely complicated, go back to the facts. Go back to what the situation actually was, not what you thought it was or hoped it could be. We overcomplicate things as women, and sometimes the clearest answer is right there in the facts we keep glossing over.
Don’t allow the fairytale of your wedding day to cloud your judgment. I get it — who doesn’t want the gorgeous dress, the party, the whole moment? But the desire for that, and the social currency it carries, can seriously cloud our judgment when it comes to picking a partner. You can have a beautiful wedding. Make sure you’re equally intentional about who you’re having it with.
Never settle. Promise yourself that. It’s sometimes hard but you’ll always regret it if you do.
When dating, run an interview process and have strict criteria. Remember that even the horribly underqualified men will apply — that’s a given. It’s your job to spot them in round one and terminate their application. Men audition for you, not the other way round. Particularly if he wants a child with you.
You have more power than you realise.
What I didn’t anticipate when I started being more open with you all is this: it heals me too.
Genuinely. When I get those messages — when a woman tells me my words transformed her life, that she grew up without any guidance on how to navigate these things and that what I share means the world — something in me settles. There’s something deeply reciprocal about vulnerability done honestly. You pour something out, and somehow you receive something back.
I think for a long time I kept a certain version of myself quite protected online. I’m a pensive person — always have been — and I was careful about what I shared. But somewhere in the last few months I made a decision, maybe unconsciously at first, to just be more real with you. To stop performing the polished version and let you into the actual thinking.
And the response has been overwhelming in the best possible way. One of you wrote to me yesterday: “some of us grew up without ANY guidance on how to think about or navigate these things, so your words mean the world and has transformed my life.” I was literally lost for words. We’re all learning and growing in this journey called life — and I suppose that’s exactly the point.
If you’re in the thick of something difficult right now — a relationship that doesn’t serve you, a family dynamic that’s been slowly chipping away at you, a decision you know you need to make but keep putting off — I hope something in here helped, even a little. My inbox is always open.
We’re all out here figuring it out together.
I offer a limited number of Girl Chat slots — one-on-one conversations where we can actually talk properly, not in a DM. Spots go quickly, so if anything in this post stirred something in you and you’d like a space to think it through, you can book a session now. If slots are not available, you can join the waitlist and I’ll be in touch. Please note that slots will only be released 1 - 2 weeks in advance.
Lots of love 🤍
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