Seeking community, sharing art outside of social media

Social media has become a place for voyeurs to creep and to be advertised strange items from Temu as well as aspirational dog-owner items. Am I already a bad dog owner because I don’t want to spend $400 on a bentwood dog crate and raw food that costs more a month than my own grocery budget when I’ve owned a dog for less than a month? Probably not, but between the non-stop ads, suggested posts, and lack of actual engagement on my own posts, I know I am not seeing the posts I actually want to see, and assume you are not, either.

On Facebook I am already seeing slimy-looking AI images of dogs and babies skiing and impossible Tuscan kitchens being commented on by bots by the thousand, interspersed with elderly commenters that possibly cannot see the actual image and might just be putting a bullseye on themselves to be scammed. Dead internet theory or not, I get far more engagement on my stories on instagram rather than my posts, which I find interesting for it is again, rather voyeuristic. This goes for my personal pages, not Bay-Made, which seems to have pretty steady interaction and organic growth. I believe I can pin that on the shop cat.

Personally, I can see people looking at my pages, but few choose to interact. It’s passive, which perhaps for some is the best way they know how to interact. Not me: if you know me and you post a win, here’s a like! A comment for you, and you, and you! Haven’t spoken in 15 years but I always thought you were cool? Hiiiii it’s me. I know I’m more forward than the average bear, so I don’t expect everyone to behave like myself. However, I know if I am having a hard time seeing content from friends and artists I admire and can barely stand being on the app myself, my content certainly isn’t being seen. Rather than stressing about how to make reels and tiktoks or trying to do the same as I always have and expect different results, I find myself not giving a shi(itake mushroom) and made this substack newsletter, a secret third thing.

I want to share my creations with the people that genuinely want to see my work. Not because they want to keep tabs on me (though I guess people could do that, too), but because they want to see what I make in their inbox. I want to have one place where I can share things where people can just opt-in purposefully to engage with my work. If someone clicks, great. If not, great. I aim to divest myself from anything to do with Meta as much as possible, for I hold that company responsible most of the time I want to drop-kick my phone into the sea.

So what might you expect from me in this space? Things I’ll share:

• artwork & new products

• thoughts & news

• book reviews

• things I eat & grow & basic recipes

• my pets (duh)

• progress on the story I’m writing

Yes indeed, I started writing a story. I have been a science fiction and fantasy fan for as long as I can remember. One of my earliest memories looking at the colorful bent spines of an old seventies paperback boxed set of The Chronicles of Narnia and poring over the awesome era-specific art direction before I could read them, my first crushes being David Bowie’s Jareth from Labyrinth and Star Wars’ Leia Organa, our family’s X-Files night on Sundays, booting up Sierra’s Space Quest 3 and putting an order in at Monolith Burger (typing in the command “hurl” to make the character throw up their fast food, naturally) on ye olde Macintosh in the early nineties: I have been surrounded by nerds my whole life.

I have always been a voracious reader (I carried my elementary school class with the numbers of pages I read every year during school-wide read-a-thons), but as an adult without a major commute and a smartphone, I found myself not reading as often. While depressed, I decided I wanted to replace scrolling with reading, and as of August 2023, I have read over 100 books with the help of the Libby app and Kindle Unlimited, and honestly by just reading on my Kindle at home and phone while out and about so I wouldn’t default to doom-scrolling.

Some books were great, some were awful. I told my very funny friend Pallavi about some of the bad ones, and she said “Oh I love books like that! I call them my dumb bitch books.” Honestly, good or bad, all inspired me to try my hand at writing something. I happened to look inside an old journal recently that I use to prop up our old roomba while charging, and found an empty journal save one entry from approximately 2003: a declaration to write a novel and get published!! Also the name “Zebedee” was floated on the next page. Completely empty, otherwise. It is, afterall, one of my greatest dreams.

As much as the entry made me laugh, I have honestly been working on creating my own world and story. So far it’s taking place on a tidally-locked earth-like moon around a super-Jupiter, and its cultures and economies are affected by its massive tides and slow days. The people there live in a technologically sophisticated yet magical world that is adjacent to our technology pre-WWII. Lightweight airplanes, large ships, the steam engine, and manufacturing exist, but they haven’t split the atom; yet. Because of this moon’s massive tides, society at lower elevations build their homes on stilts, live on houseboats, or on homes high in giant mangroves to deal with the 30ft tides. Those at higher elevations live in a society criss-crossed by train tracks and telegram wires, and radio. The magic there is derived from the Divine, as I love a good creation story and pantheon of gods.

Originally, I wanted to try writing a short story. I still may do this, but after getting carried away by my world building, I discovered a more epic story relating to a disillusioned priestess of the god Light and some of her peers after she discovers a primal evil infiltrating her theocratic empire. I honestly don’t know if I’ll finish an entire story, but so far, I’m outlining the first act for the three main points of view and am almost finished.

So, the mood of this story, and for whom it is written: it’s for the people that would like an epic story written with the female and queer gaze in mind, as no one needs another “Hero’s Journey” featuring another white guy, despite loving all those linked titles. Campbell was on to something, but there are other ways to have a narrative progress. Modern, more feminist takes on this same theme would be the Barbie movie and Legally Blonde. Aside from that, I want to write for those that don’t want to read what is essentially an old-school romance novel with a shirtless hunk on the cover but do like meaningful connections, or for people who haven’t read much fantasy before and are turned off by sexually exploitative stories. A Song of Ice and Fire is particularly guilty of this (I still love these books, but I am holding my breath on them being finished ever and find them far from perfect), or on the complete opposite side of the spectrum, love the worlds created by Brandon Sanderson but perhaps want more than a neutered “fade to black” take on sexuality.

My thoughts are that romance, the lack of it, and human sexuality are just part of life, and I don’t mind it incorporated, or conversely, not at all involved in the story, it depending on the story and what it calls for. If that is what someone would read, these people want more realistic relationship dynamics in their stories than A Court of Thorns and Roses, or are frustrated by the very adult situations the 16 year old protagonists gets themselves into in much of YA literature (love your vibe, Stephanie Garber, but why are these teens getting into relationships with immortals?).

Comparatively, I recently read The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller, A Darker Shade of Magic by VE Schwab, The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon, and the science fiction duology starting with A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine, all of which have incredible worldbuilding, captivating characters, interesting political dynamics, and deep romantic (and queer!) tension—all of which I love in a series.

I mentioned the popular ACOTAR series by SJ Maas in particular because I recently “hate-read” the first three books in the series. One of my best friends is as inspired by the concept of the fae as anyone, and she hated these books. She thought them boring and formulaic: 50 pages, some creepy fairy monster. 50 more pages, smut. 50 more pages, something fae-inspired and smut, etc. She would try to voice her complaints to her peers, and they said they loved it, so she needed someone else who would get it and wouldn’t make her feel insane for not liking it. Being a fast reader, I came to her rescue and I sped through the books in three days, skimming by the end, and read synopses of the rest of the series. While truthfully not as horrible as I originally thought they could be, I was galvanized, realizing why these books are as popular as they are.

My takeaway: Maas is far better at writing horror and existential dread than romance, and her books are page-turners. That being said, I found her characters one-dimensional (I’m sorry, still can’t get over the three sister main characters traits being all ethereally beautiful and respectively an illiterate artist with IBS, a “bitch”, and sweet and boring; the former’s illiteracy having almost no bearing on the story whatsoever) and the two male main characters are either a.) cowards or b.) guilty of sexual assault. Why is it so preoccupied with the concepts of possessiveness and mates (cue this tiktok of this genre being omegaverse-lite)? Why are these middle-eastern coded men with bat wings from a society that mutilates their women’s wings for the purpose of keeping them low for breeding? You are seriously telling me that immortal beings have a problem with homosexuality and virginity? Why is the main character mostly impervious to physical harm, but now that she’s fae and pregnant, she might die? No one was holding a knife to Maas’ throat to write this, as far as I know. Though, maybe I’m wrong!

To be fair, I don’t think those that enjoy ACOTAR are fools, or that SJM is talentless. She’s certainly sitting down and plunking out her words and laughing on her way to the bank. I do think many of the fans of these books haven’t read much fantasy before, or maybe nothing since they were teens and Twilight hit the scene, and it’s their first dip of the toe into adult fantasy. And possibly for the first time, the folks reading these books are seeing women as actually cherished. Their pleasure and needs and dreams are prioritized. They will be having wild sex on a table full of paint that cleans up itself and of course there’s a dangerous pregnancy plot, but generally the girls in these books are supported, even if they make stupid decisions. What a fantasy!

I now have a very solid idea about what I want my stories to be, and what I don’t want them to be. I am looking forward to illustrating a world map, continuing development of my six main characters and their powers and relationship dynamics, and coming up with unique blends of magic, technology, and divine meddling.

I’m also excited that starting writing jump started my illustration, as well. While I want to draw things from my story of course, I have been making things I’ve been wanting to make for years. It feels good.

Knowing my mercurial tendencies, whenever I feel like posting. I’m going to try for once a month, though. If I do more, I’d love to share and hope you don’t mind. If you do, unsubscribe ;)

I’ve been dealing with depression stemming from years of burnout after 2020, holding my business together by the seams in a weird economy, taking care of my partner in his own moments of distress, and literal world weariness. I’m finally coming out of my own personal pit of despair. I’ve been feeling truly creative for the first time in years, and went so far as to adopt a new little dog named Ginger in order to inject a new routine into my life.

So far, it’s working. I’m writing, still reading a lot, and drawing, and my menagerie and businesses keep me on my toes. Between my three cats and Ginger, I am finding myself present in the moment a lot more than I had been. I am so grateful I have incredibly supportive family and friends, a therapist, and access to medication in order to feel more like myself. I am so grateful as well, to you, lovely person that I added to this substack because you were one of the first people I thought of when I decided I had things to share. I hope you enjoyed.

Much love,

Sarahjane