Have We Been Doing Kegels All Wrong? And Is Peeing in the Shower a Bad Thing?

It’s an honor anytime I can bring a practitioner on to share their expertise with my subscribers and answer the questions we're often too shy or too uninformed to ask. My hope is that we stop whispering about our bodies and start getting better information. Let's stop "asking for a friend," or in my case, "asking for a client," and just straight-up ask.

Today I’m introducing you to pelvic floor physical therapist Caitlin Oliveros. I met Caitlin a little over a year ago when she attended a panel I spoke on with Erica Chidi and Gloria Noto about midlife reinvention. I carried her business card around for months before finally reaching out to grab coffee and learn more about her practice. She was so informative that I immediately asked if I could publish a Q&A on The Sort and ask all the pelvic floor questions my clients (and, admittedly, I) have been wondering about.

Pelvic floor health affects far more than bladder leaks. It can influence sex, bowel movements, pregnancy and postpartum recovery, exercise, and how supported your body feels as you age.

SC: Hi Caitlin. Can you please tell readers a bit about your practice and who you help?

CO: Hi! I’m Caitlin Oliveros, founder of Studio Duyan Physical Therapy + Wellness in Woodland Hills, California. I’m a pelvic floor physical therapist passionate about helping women feel strong, confident, and at home in their bodies through pregnancy, postpartum, and beyond. Whether they are dealing with pain during sex, leaking when they sneeze, chronic constipation, or stubborn core weakness, my goal is to help women understand what’s happening in their bodies—and know that these symptoms are common, but they aren’t something they just have to live with.

1. SC: How can someone tell whether their pelvic floor is weak… or too tight?

CO: It’s not always easy to tell because many symptoms overlap. A weaker pelvic floor may contribute to leaking urine, pelvic heaviness, or difficulty controlling bowel or bladder function, while a tight or overactive pelvic floor can cause pain with sex, constipation, pelvic pain, or urinary urgency. Since weakness and tightness can feel surprisingly similar, the best way to know what’s going on is through an evaluation with a pelvic floor physical therapist.

2. SC: Does every woman need to do Kegels? Who benefits from them, and who should avoid them?

CO: No, Kegels aren’t a one-size-fits-all solution. They can be helpful for some women with pelvic floor weakness, but if the muscles are already tight or overactive, they can actually make symptoms worse. The pelvic floor needs both strength and the ability to relax, so it’s important to know what your body actually needs before starting Kegels.

3. SC: What everyday habits surprise you by affecting pelvic floor health?

CO: Many everyday habits can affect your pelvic floor more than you realize, including straining during bowel movements, holding your breath while lifting, going to the bathroom “just in case,” chronic stress, and ignoring constipation. One surprising habit: peeing in the shower. It seems harmless, but it can train your bladder to respond to the sound of running water. Patients will tell me they leak whenever they hear water running—and when I ask if they pee in the shower, the answer is almost always yes. Your pelvic floor works closely with your breathing, core, and nervous system, so small daily habits can have a big impact over time!

4. SC: What changes happen to the pelvic floor during perimenopause/menopause, and what can women do preventatively?

CO: As estrogen levels decline during perimenopause and menopause, the tissues supporting the pelvic floor naturally become less elastic, which can contribute to bladder leakage, urgency, vaginal dryness, or discomfort with intimacy. Staying active, maintaining overall strength, practicing healthy bladder and bowel habits, and seeking pelvic floor physical therapy early can help manage symptoms and support long-term pelvic health.

5. SC: If every woman remembered just one thing about her pelvic floor, what would you want it to be?

CO: Just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s normal. Leaking urine, pain with sex, pelvic pressure, or chronic constipation are all common concerns, but they’re not things you have to live with. It still astounds me that some doctors and medical providers tell women it’s “normal” to experience the pain they live with, that they’ll outgrow their symptoms, or dismiss their concerns altogether—trust me, I’ve been the patient, too. Your pelvic floor is treatable, and getting the right support can make a huge difference in your quality of life!

6. SC: I was going to say "asking for a client"... but no shame. It's me. I used to do Kegels pretty religiously, twice a day 10 seconds on / 10 seconds off, but I stopped a few months ago because I wondered if they were contributing to my constipation. More recently, I leaked a tiny bit of urine while jumping on my trampoline. What's a better routine that supports my pelvic floor without overdoing it?

CO: Of course, I can't diagnose what's happening without evaluating you in person, but based on what you've described, even though the number of Kegels you mentioned seems low, I suspect you might be one of the people who doesn’t actually need them—and even that small number could be worsening your symptoms. I also wonder how you’re performing the Kegels. It’s common to accidentally clench your glutes instead of your actual pelvic floor muscles, which won’t give you the effect you’re looking for. Instead of Kegeling, try this simple exercise most women can do daily: child’s pose in bed. Sit back on your heels, reach your arms forward, and rest your forehead on the bed. This helps you bring awareness to your pelvic floor rather than actively squeezing it. Once you’re in the pose, breathe deeply (about 10 times) and notice how the pressure moves through your pelvis:

• Inhale: Feel the breath expand into your back and pelvic floor, as if the pressure is moving down toward your sit bones—almost like a gentle bearing-down sensation.

• Exhale: Let the air out through your mouth. As the pressure releases, you should feel a subtle lift in your pelvic floor.

Huge thanks to Caitlin for sharing her expertise and demystifying an area of women’s health that still doesn’t get talked about enough. If this interview made you realize you’ve been living with symptoms you assumed were “just part of getting older,” consider it permission to get evaluated.