A new makeup holy grail: I am… not very good at doing my makeup. My everyday routine is quite literally always the same 4 things (blush! concealer! luminizer! bronzer!), and I don’t really stray. So, imagine my surprise when I realized there was eyeshadow that was A) EASY TO APPLY and B) actually got me, like, a lot of compliments. I’m a new girl now, y’all. An eyeshadow girl. And it’s all because of these Rare Beauty eyeshadow sticks!!! (I have Well-Being, Contentment, and Compassion)
This specific live version of this specific Bon Iver song is living absolutely rent-freeeeeeeeeee in my head.
Being v intentional with my summer: There have been so many good reads lately that are really driving me to make this season SPECIAL, like hannah bay’s low-effort ways to make this a summer you'll actually remember + olivia ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆’s 27 ways to have an anti-brain rot summer + ayushi thakkar’s nostalgic things to do this summer.
Friendship is my favorite topic in the world.
My friends are my favorite people in the world.
And, most importantly, most of the lessons I’ve learned in my life have come from those friendships. Some of them have come from being a good friend. Some of them from being a bad friend. From being loved well. From being disappointed. From being angry. The “froms” are infinite here.
And the biggest lesson I’ve really learned is that friendship is less about grand gestures and more about a collection of tiny, weirdly specific rules that nobody ever explicitly teaches you.
Lessons like: friendship requires inconvenience sometimes. The road goes both ways. Small things matter more than you think. No one needs to be Venmo requesting someone for $4. Not every thought needs to be shared with a third party. Watch the TikToks they send you.
I could go on. And on.
So I will.
None of these are completely universal (plz don’t bean soup theory me). Some of them are probably wrong. A few of them may be controversial. But together, the 54 random little guidelines here have formed my personal friendship philosophy.
Voila.
(And tell me in the comments what yours are, ofc!)
Have a party-agnostic person you can talk your shit to. (This is probably gonna be your mom.)
Assume positive intent.
A monthly text message exchange does not a friend make.
Put yourself in a position to show up.
Watch the TikToks and the Reels they send you! Yes, even if the Reel was a TikTok 3 months ago.
Talk about everything people tell you not to talk about. Politics! Sex! Money! That’s what friends are for.
If you need to complain about a friend, think long and hard about where said complaint is going to get you.
The same thing goes with complaining about a romantic partner to your friend. Once you’ve said it, you can’t take it back.
Don’t Venmo request anyone for anything less than $15. (Exception is obviously if a group of people owes you for something that ended up being less than $15 a person!!)
Trade off paying for things less than $15 so that this isn’t an issue regardless.
Remember what’s going on in their lives. (Literally, be the kind of person that puts a friend’s job interview into your Reminders app.)
Be honest when you’re overwhelmed and feeling like you can’t be as present as you’d like.
If you can’t be supportive, get out.
If you actually CAN’T BE SUPPORTIVE (like, the decisions being made are kinda awful), that’s a different conversation.
Understand their family dynamics. Make sure they know yours.
Understand THEIR dynamics. (A friend who went through a deeply traumatic childhood may need to be shown up for in a different way, ya know?)
Next time you want to bring your boyfriend or your child or your husband along, do a little self-audit. Is your boyfriend or child or husband always coming along? Don’t bring them.
Make more plans with your friends that involve not actually having any plans.
The road goes both ways.
Do not go be friends with their exes. That’s weird.
Keep finances in mind when you’re deciding what to do / where to eat / where to stay.
If you can’t or don’t want to do something, be honest. Don’t put it off.
RSVP to Partifuls.
Don’t let one person constantly be the one initiating the plans.
Assumptions make an ass out of U and of ME.
If you say you’re going to keep a secret, keep the damn secret.
(And if you’re the kind of person who “tells their partner everything,” be honest about it… because the worst thing is thinking you had a secret and then realizing your friend’s husband knows it.)
Use a coaster at their house.
Retire the silent treatment.
Be on time to things.
Some semblance of self-awareness is an absolute requirement on all fronts.
Agreeing to disagree does NOT mean refusing to hold people accountable.
You should never, ever take longer than 24 hours to respond to a friend’s text and that would be REALLY pushing it.
Don’t mock things that are important to the other person. Obviously.
If you always feel really drained after hanging out with a friend, that’s a sign that you maybe should not spend so much time with said friend.
Understand what’s important to your friends. Show up for it.
To add to that… know which one of your friends takes their birthdays really seriously. This is important.
Be able to tell each other to shut up when you need it.
Unsolicited advice is easy to give but hard to take back.
Don’t be afraid to set boundaries.
Don’t be afraid of a friend who is setting boundaries.
Always let the pros outweigh the cons!
Postponing something more than twice means you should probably just cancel it.
You can only be so drunk that it becomes everyone else’s problem so many times….
Make it easy to make plans with you.
Lying is poison to a friendship.
Know their coffee orders.
You’re not supposed to think the same way about everything. Perspective is cool.
Don’t leave your coffee cups/food wrappers in their car.
Put your phone down and listen when they talk.
Be honest when you’re upset at something someone’s said or done.
Pick them up from the airport when you can! And vice versa!
Take it really seriously when you hurt someone’s feelings.
Sometimes friendship requires inconvenience :)
Susie Hutcheson is a copywriter & writer based in Dallas, TX. Have questions, collaboration opportunities, or just want to say hi? Contact Sus by email at susie@susiebco.com, shop some of her favorites here & here, and follow along on Instagram.
Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you choose to make a purchase through them, I’ll earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. 🫶🏻
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