Why Two Things? Because 2 things can be true at once. I can be motivated to write and want people to see my writing and still be nervous about them seeing it. I can be a 46 year old woman on the outside and still nurturing my inner child on the inside. I can be bold and scared at the same time and do it anyways. I’ve never understood why people say it’s being bold or courageous even because it doesn’t seem like it’s bold. It’s just something I’m doing.
To me, bold is doing is something daring while in the moment. Maybe not quite like running into a burning building which is more brave than bold but perhaps trailblazing a new path. To be fair, I know my coloring books are different from the normal. I just did a quick Google search and it turns out there are other artists out there doing the same thing as me.
What makes my coloring book different from others? In this 2nd edition, I listened to suggestions and comments and decided to innovate it beyond music and invite someone in to color with you as a bonding experience. How? The facing pages are either the left and right side of an image OR they are the same image but simpler and bigger. Some are a little more complex and some are less so.
Why? Because I wanted people to be able to bond together, like father daughter, friends, dates, grandparents and kids, etc. I wanted it to be a different experience and that’s what it’s about, the experience.
Yesterday I reached out to 2 people on TikTok and asked them if they would be willing to make me a video for TikTokShop. The first one responded positively and even added that she would also make a video for Amazon. I was surprised, shocked and so grateful I started crying. Obviously I wanted her to make the video, I was actually surprised that she would. I was nervous reaching out to her and asking because even though she’s on my page, you never know how people are going to respond.
I took that same note that I sent her and sent it to someone else on my page and she responded positively as well. In fact, she responded so positively that she said, she would have made the video even if there wasn’t a commission involved. She also said there was no need to send her a copy that as soon as she got paid, she was ordering an actual physical copy. Cue the tears, again.
The funny thing is if these 2 women or any of the people on my page came to me and asked me to make them a video, I would do the same without hesitation. Yet there I was, nervous that they would reject me or worse, respond with something along the lines of, “Who do you think you are?” Those are thoughts I’m working through and have been working through and it’s yet another reason I came back to writing on Substack to get these thoughts out and share with people. I doubt I’m the only one out there who’s nervous about doing things like this and worried about rejection.
Writing my thoughts out here 4 days a week and sharing my notes is vulnerable each time and yet, I still do it. Why? Because my mental peace matters a lot and I read an article that people who seem to do best at healing are those who write their thoughts out for 20 minutes a day and so, here I am, on my healing journey. I hope my thoughts helped you to feel less alone, that you enjoyed reading this and see you next time. :)
If you’re curious about the coloring books that sparked this journey:
ps i love you in case no one told you today
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