24. Chapter 6

*This book was set the be published by the publisher of my first book, but after years of struggle and many other reasons, I decided to release it on Substack instead. Each week, the 52,000 word book which was tentatively titled “Be A Force” will be dropped here online. The sections will start with number 1 and then progress over the 52 weeks of the next year. The Chapter title will be placed in the post description for clarity.

Therapy

At the beginning of the therapy process, I had developed a hard exterior to protect me from more pain. On top of this hard exterior I layered humour, and I would bring this sassiness into session until my incredibly perceptive therapist said, “What do the jokes do for you?” I sat with the question. The jokes masked the pain. They too were like the swiping, drinking, dating, shopping and other dopamine droppers I had so effectively employed to avoid burrowing deep into my skin and tweezing the callous of truth out.

Therapy, as I mentioned earlier, has by far been the most life-changing for me of all the modalities I have undertaken to improve my self-connection. This is largely because any form of therapy is completely bespoke. Talk therapy talks back, and the human connection you feel in it can make you feel supported and understood. This is possible only because of two very specific factors, however. The first is that the cost of therapy is within your means. For me this was incredibly draining on my finances as in Singapore it’s not subsidised by the government. This meant the cost of therapy was stressful. I know it is this way for many people. I remember it being such a priority for me and being in such emotional pain at the time that I decided that it was more important to me than eating. Healing was my highest priority. If therapy is beyond your budget, consider following social media accounts by psychologists which will essentially “drip-feed” you new therapy concepts you may find relevant for further research. I’d highly recommend unfollowing other accounts at the same time which may trigger you or cause comparison, so the new more positive content can shine through. You can also explore a range of AI therapy apps that are flooding the market and are very reasonably priced.