Reflections on a sabbatical

I’m coming to the end of five months on sabbatical, and have been reflecting on the experience. It’s been a slow period in my life. I haven’t spent it travelling extensively, or trying out any challenging new experiences. My sabbatical hasn’t been any dramatic activities, or big aha moments. I purposefully chose to spend this time resting and relaxing. I felt like I needed to be at home, thinking about where I am right now, and what I wanted to do. The biggest most challenging thing I probably did, was finally posting an essay to this Substack. I think a small part of me would have loved an epiphany about life, but that wasn’t really realistic. I think this journey is the slow realisation of how I want to live my life.

I’ve spent a lot of my time getting up late, spending days watching tv, sleeping more, going to cafes, and just existing. These really small activities have filled my life up a lot.

It’s very easy to fall into comfortable, easy patterns in life, when you’re fortunate enough to have the time and space. Now that I’ve come to the almost ending of this period, I have been craving something more, something new and challenging. However, this period has allowed me to enjoy myself, and indulge in the little things.

So to commemorate this period, here is a list of the things I’ve most enjoyed:

1. Reading more. For me, there is nothing like sitting down with a good book. I’ve loved reading since I first learnt when I was 4. And I’ve always felt this sense of comfort in the worlds created by books. I’ve always loved going to libraries and spending time trawling the shelves, getting to know the librarians. Libraries were always a safe space for me. With the stress of work this year, I did not have the capacity to read at the same level as I would like (normally I read at least a book a week). Now that I haven’t been working, I’ve spent so much more time reading. I had to up my reading goal for the year. I just read The Last Devil to Die by Richard Osman from the Thursday Murder Club series, and loved it. I love the humour and charm that come with the elderly characters living in in a retirement village solving murders. They are smarter than they look, and what can I say the middle aged person inside me has always loved a murder mystery.

   

2. Getting to wake up slowly and late. Anyone who knows me, knows I am not a morning person. In fact seeing me too early in the morning could be described as akin to a vampire getting out of their coffin. Usually I’m slapping on sunscreen and rushing out the door, all for a few extra minutes of sleep or semi unconsciousness. But when there’s no work, I can sit outside, read a book and drink my coffee slowly. There is something so refreshing and wonderful about this experience. It made me go, “oh wow”, this is why people enjoy mornings and having time before work.

   

3. I love Fridays. Since quitting work, I’ve spent my Fridays hanging out with another friend who is also on a similar path (or Pathless Path). Sometimes we work, sometimes we chat for six hours. Either way, having that connection and time spent with someone who just gets it, is really the best.

4. The flexibility of being in control of my time. When I was working full time, it felt like a week would go by and all I would have thought about is my job. I would pour so much emotional energy into work. Time moved by rapidly, and I hadn’t done anything to fulfil or satiate myself. On sabbatical, I can do things in the middle of the working day, or whenever I want. For example, when my friends who run the local cafe, asked me to go bouldering, I could say yes. It’s such a freeing feeling, when you have power of your own time.

5. Getting to draw and paint more. Sometimes I will spend hours and hours getting lost in the pages of my drawing pads, sketching and painting pictures. When I was working, I only really had time for drawing when it was for someone else. I would make a birthday card or a batch of Christmas cards. It was never very consistent, or just for myself. But now, I’ve started drawing portraits of my family and friends. While many have turned out very scary (especially if you know what they actually look like), it has been so fun learning a new technique and skill. I remember why I love this creative outlet.

6. Learning for the enjoyment of learning. I haven't often chosen to learn new things for the sake of it. When I was employed and spent all day reading documents, and boring myself to tears, it was really hard to motivate myself to try something new outside of work. Having the mental space to breathe, has meant I have had the time to enjoy learn. I love learning about artists like Frida Kahlo, Henri Matisse and Pierre Bonnard. It’s fun to read about their backgrounds, techniques and be inspired in my own work and creativity.

7. Taking a trip to Queenstown, New Zealand. I recently went to Queenstown with a friend for a ten day trip. The main focus being skiing, but also just enjoying what Queenstown had to offer. Being surrounded by the most amazing mountain ranges, everywhere you look was so refreshing, especially when you live in a big city like Melbourne. Growing up in New Zealand, I’ve always been so fortunate to be surrounded by nature, even when you’re in a city. I was only ever ten minutes from a nature reserve or forest. I’ve come to appreciate this part of my home even more while living in Melbourne. I loved getting to ski again and enjoy it with an equally excited friend. We ate amazing food, drove around the area, went jet boat riding and sang 90s RNB and pop songs in the car. It was one of the most relaxing and fulfilling trips I’ve ever taken.

8. Hosted an epic intimate birthday party! My friend and I spoke at length about the book The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker, all to try and plan the perfect gathering to celebrate my birthday. It was so much work, but it was so worth it. It brought together so many things I love in one night, drawings, gatherings, friends, good food, good conversations! It reminded me how much I love organising events, and bringing people together.

The enjoyable experiences of these last few months have been affirming in many ways. I’ve gotten to remember and indulge in little things that I really enjoy. I have realised that what’s most important to me is having more time to myself. The freedom to pick and choose my activities for the day is amazing. I simply don’t want to work at the same level that I have been when studying for my law degree, or working a corporate job. It just doesn’t seem worth it anymore, and I simply don’t have the energy. Maybe, I will want to “work” more in the future, but if I do, I think it will be on something I’m really passionate about.

A less fun part of the sabbatical is the financial stress. At the start of the sabbatical I definitely had moments of panic where I was stressed at the steadily decreasing amount of money in my account. That panic definitely subsided, and I was able to appreciate the intentional nature of this non-working period of my life. I will definitely be somewhat relieved to have money coming into my account (probably not as much as my mum), rather than always going out. But while I have taken a financial hit, I wouldn’t change taking this time off. When it’s worth it, it’s worth it.

I think a small part of me would have loved an epiphany about life, it would have made my life a lot easier. When I know what I want, I go for it. But I don’t think that was really realistic. I think this journey is the slow realisation of how I want to live my life. Being able to appreciate the small moments, and having the freedom and intention in my life decisions.

So now after this long work break, I’m focused o1. n looking for temporary or part time employment. I do want to earn some money. But I want work which allows flexibility to move and adapt as I see fit (I realise I’m really lucky to have this opportunity). As well, I think working like this for right now, will allow me to better indulge in the activities I really love, like reading, and drawing. I want to remember the activities that are important to me, especially when it might get hard, and I’m torn about what direction to take. It’s important that I live my life in the way that I really want to.