Have you ever felt like you, or your whole life, are completely collapsing? A time when your body is so fatigued that you barely move? Everything getting cancelled? Getting fired? A breakup… and someone dies the next day?
Sounds intense.
Yet in my experience, these are the most profound points of our lives.
Even though it feels like being in the middle of a hurricane, a part of me has always found these moments exciting.
Because what comes next… is truly worth it.
I’ve observed many people who believe life is about suffering. Deeply believing that we come to this world to suffer. Some even call it “a punishment”.
Many religions are based on the concept of “enlightenment” that supposedly frees you from endless cycles of reincarnation. As if our planet is a burden and a curse.
Since I was a child, I could never wrap my head around:
“How can you hate life? Don’t you see how everything and everyone are beautiful?”
Till this day, having seen people suffer, having had sleepless nights full of angst, anger and grief, I still stand by it.
Many call me an endless optimist, with “too much faith” in humanity, an idealist. But to be honest, I would rather call myself observant of the big picture.
I don’t believe in conclusions based on a single point of observation. I thrive on long‑term studies. Yeah, 6 weeks of a single person’s life might have totally sucked.
I remember a sucking 6 months of my teenage years: a breakup, followed by attachment to a toxic environment, a broken rib, sleepless nights.
If you had only observed that part of my life, you would think I was a lost‑cause teenage girl with “behaviour problems”.
Do I look like one, 2 years later?
To my judgment, no.
Actually, I was having a beautiful time graduating school with a high progress award from the school.
A healthy, content young woman.
What happened was a rise. A rise after the collapse.
And the same has taken place in the lives of many I have observed. Not throughout 6 weeks or one day, but by following them for years.
I bet you’ve heard the phrase: “The darkest hour is before the sunrise.”
We have witnessed this phenomenon for thousands of years. It is engraved into our DNA.
The truth is that collapse is the only way to soften resistance for something new. To soften resistance for change and upgrade.
The soul came here to evolve. The ego, on the other hand, doesn’t want to change because for a moment it is required to stop identifying with anything.
The wise ones are the ones who hear the call and choose it consciously.
But sometimes inner resistance to a specific change - a career redirection, a shift in values, a change in lifestyle - is so huge that the only way is to collapse.
Personally, I am in the slow rising from the collapse (I wrote this on the plane to UK and got sick right after so I take my words back - I am in total collapse and softening)
A moment of rebuilding myself from within - a new routine, a new way of being.
Which phase are you in? Descent. Collapse. Rising. Or Being.
Are you in descent? Nice. What do you feel you are invited to change?
Are you in collapse? Congratulations. Something new is on the horizon. Expect miracles.
Are you in rising? Can you allow yourself not to force yourself to the top already tomorrow, but let the journey unfold?
Are you in being? What do you appreciate about your life now? Do you allow yourself to enjoy it?
Whatever stage you are in, welcome it.
See it not as something separate, but as a part of a big process. Your proccess.
As you might sense, I actually love collapse. It is a limbo state but it is also a blank canvas where you build your new reality.
In my practice, I work with many women who feel deeply stuck in the collapse:
Paralysed to make a decision.
Doubting every choice.
Unsure about the next day.
All of them came not to be given advice. They already knew what to do. They came for safety and clarity.
I don’t give advice. I hold your hand until you feel safe to continue on your own.
This is a call for those who know what I am referring to. I see you. And I welcome you to explore 1:1 Clarity Sessions. Limited spaces open every month.
If you feel a soft yes, you’re invited to book your session here:
And if you feel called to go deeper with a group, I’m also quietly opening something new.
After over 6 months of doing jewelry workshops, I now offer organisation of private events - it feels so exciting to name this into existence.
I thought I needed to make it perfect, fancy, polished. Instead, I just made a simple docs document and it feels so right.
You’re welcome to explore it here:
And if this resonates with you, I’d appreciate you sharing it with someone you know would be interested.
Did you find this post helpful? Insightful?
Share your experience in the comments of this post. I love reading them.
With deep love,
Darja.
About the author
I am Darja - an academic by day working with plant-based foods, and a witch by night who created crystal talismans, reads cards and shifts perspectives. My job here is to help you save your most precious resources - your time and peace.
I also love animals, and most likely am addicted to cocoa (THE REAL ONE). I still have plushie toys in my bedroom and overthink whether I was too mean to someone
Welcome to a corner of truths & silent transformations!
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