A lot of people in my life—and in my inbox—are going through it right now. So I wanted to share what's genuinely helped me get through my own hardest moments, with the hope that something here might help you too.
Meditation and bubble baths are not my thing, even though I know they’re beloved by the masses. When my father died, I signed up for therapy, hired a life coach, and joined three different suicide loss support groups. My brother took a solo trip around the world for a year.
We all grieve differently, we all process emotions differently, so it’s up to each of us to find what actually works for us. In my most recent book, LifeStyled, I encourage everyone to curate a personalized mental health toolkit—a tough-times survival kit you create before you’re in crisis. Think of it as a gift you can give your future self: a ready-made set of strategies for navigating grief, loss, or just everyday overwhelm. Here’s mine:
After my father died, I felt self-conscious about my grief (still do) and spent a lot of time listening to sad music and crying alone in my car. It helped. A lot.
You can’t outrun grief, as much as I’ve tried (and, oh, how I’ve tried). These days I’m practicing sitting with discomfort instead of immediately reaching for an action to fix it, soothe it, or make it go away. It’s the hardest thing on this list for me, and probably the most important.
I process feelings by talking openly with a tight inner circle of people I love and trust. It’s taken me a lifetime to be comfortable with emotional vulnerability, but honest conversations are my number one coping strategy.
When I’m not talking, I’m writing. I write daily—for myself and for work—and find it deeply cathartic to get my thoughts out of my head and onto a blank page.
Walking, hiking, spin classes, my beloved Core Power Yoga, or anything that gets my heart rate up and endorphins flowing feels like medicine.
Whether it’s cleaning out my closet, treating myself to fresh flowers on my nightstand, or just throwing fresh linens on my bed, creating order in my physical space gives me a sense of calm and control like nothing else.
I have found acupuncture treatments to be incredibly nourishing—both for illness and for boosting energy, mood, and balance. My local practitioner is a true healer (if you are local message me and I’ll happily share her info).
A few years ago when my daughter Emilie had been hospitalized for a rare lung condition (she’s fine now), my best friend, who lives across the country, sent me a quart of hot and sour soup and some pan-fried dumplings. It was the most thoughtful gesture and still makes me tear up when I think about it. Warm, nourishing food can feel like a life raft during dark days.
I’ve tried all the therapy, and a few years ago I started taking a low-dose SSRI for generalized anxiety at the encouragement of people who love me. It’s not a magic bullet, but it’s helped take the edge off and has been a positive step for my mental health. I’m sharing this because stigma around therapy and medication adds unnecessary shame and suffering for so many.
Reader Prompt: What’s in your mental health toolkit? I’d love to hear your go-to strategies for managing stress and finding comfort when life gets overwhelming.
Micro Travel Guides: By popular request — sharing my free London Edit and Paris Edit: the places I keep coming back to (or wish I’d found sooner) in each city
Watching: Just saw The Invite (shot in SF!) — equal parts poignant and hysterical on the complexities of long-term love
Fewer Better Faves: 100% plastic-free underwear, my favorite lip & cheek duo now comes in mini, Sqirl x CAP Beauty made a jam, the only thing I bought in Paris!
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