The Personality Trait Every Woman Seems to Have Except Me

I see it everywhere.

“Learn to ask for what you want.”

“Don’t be afraid to speak up.”

“You have to fill your cup before you can fill others’.”

“Mothers always put themselves last.”

These platitudes are fine and well, but I can’t help but feel like I’m a bad mother and a selfish shrew for the fact that I cannot relate. It’s ironic, right? That someone who doesn’t innately struggle with subservience feels unnatural. That taking care of yourself is only admirable if it’s not your first instinct.

It’s not that I never make sacrifices for my kids or that I behave rudely toward others for my own benefit. In fact, I’m always thirsty because I always let my kids drink all my water, and I say sorry to strangers an annoying amount.

But big picture, I am not afraid to be a human with wants and needs.

I feel no guilt telling my husband I’m going to take a bath—I don’t ask permission, even if all the kids are running rampant.

If my kids ask for a snack right after I sit down, I tell them they have to wait or figure out a way to get it themselves.

I kindly let my employees know if I want them to change something about their work.

I have absolutely no problem saying “no” to a request or invitation if I don’t have the bandwidth.

And if someone does something that truly upsets me, I’m not at all afraid of confrontation because I refuse to let frustration boil. I’d rather nip things in the bud.

Of course, I absolutely believe that most women struggle to live into their worth, because that’s what basically every podcaster and self-help book for women tells me. But I can’t be the only one who doesn’t naturally make herself small.

Which leads me to wonder, why?