𝐔𝐅𝐂 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝟐𝟓𝟎: “𝐀 𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞”

Now that 𝙳̶𝚘̶𝚗̶𝚊̶𝚕̶𝚍̶ ̶𝚃̶𝚛̶𝚞̶𝚖̶𝚙̶’̶𝚜̶ ̶𝟾̶𝟶̶𝚝̶𝚑̶ ̶𝙱̶𝚒̶𝚛̶𝚝̶𝚑̶𝚍̶𝚊̶𝚢̶ ̶𝙱̶𝚊̶𝚜̶𝚑̶ America’s 250th Anniversary Lawn Brawl is a wrap, let’s take a look back at just how 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘶𝘱𝘵 this entire event was.

1. While Donald Trump and Dana White teased the idea of a White House UFC fight last summer, it didn’t become a publicly announced reality until March. On May 12, Trump’s financial disclosure filing revealed he purchased ~$50,000 in 𝐓𝐊𝐎 stock—the parent company of UFC and WWE. He then used the White House to promote the company he just invested in, driving up the stock price.

Under any of the previous 46 U.S. administrations, that alone would be grounds for impeachment.

2. The People’s House was packed with corporate sponsorships—Crypto. com, Dodge Ram, Bud Light, Starlink, Monster Energy, EasyPost, Stake, Polymarket, and World Liberty Financial—a break from the longstanding, unwritten White House ethics commitment to keeping government and corporate sponsorships separate.

Each sponsor paid $1.5 million to have their logo splashed across the White House lawn, and every single one of those companies either 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 something from the WH, or has already gotten it:

• Dodge Ram is actively lobbying the White House for an exemption from the 25% tariff on it’s Mexican-built Ram pickups.

• Polymarket, where Don Jr. is both an investor and an advisor, wants the CFTC to back off prediction-market regulations.

• Crypto.com wants crypto deregulation.

• World Liberty Financial is Donald Trump’s 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 crypto company that he’s used to generate more than $1 billion in profit since taking office.

3. Can someone say 𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩?

Marco Rubio tried to spin this corrupt-a-thon as a “gift to the American people”:

“The White House is the people’s house. It belongs to the people of the United States. The America 250 celebration belongs to the people of the United States. And there are millions and millions of Americans from all walks of life that are not necessarily attuned to politics or the financial markets or anything else, but they love this sport. And every Saturday, if you’ve got a big event once a month, they’re tuning in and they’re watching and they hosted a– for them to be able to see this event with their White House in the background as part of our celebration as a country and our 250 years, I think 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘨𝘪𝘧𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦. That’s what Sunday is about. It’s a gift to the American people. They’re going to see their White House in their capital on their nation’s birthday celebrating with a historic event.”

Well, it turned out that “for America” was a mistranslation of “for Trump’s birthday.” And the whole “gift” part was somehow even less accurate. It was the kind of gift you have to 𝘱𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳, which you may recognize from literally anything ever as not a f*ing gift. If you wanted to watch, you needed an $8.99 subscription to Paramount+, who “somehow managed” to secure exclusive broadcast rights to the event.

On a completely unrelated note (probably), Trump’s DOJ officially approved Paramount’s $110-billion merger with Warner Bros. hours before the event.

4. Trump’s World Liberty Financial funded a $250,000 Performance of the Night bonus pool paid out in USD1, their proprietary crypto stablecoin. Meaning the President of the United States used the White House lawn to promote his family’s cryptocurrency—which previously froze regular investors out of their money—by paying fighters with it on national television while simultaneously seeking a federal banking license that his own administration would approve.

Eric Trump added to his family’s grifting legacy by trying to obtain some insider betting info from UFC legend Daniel Cormier, who wasn’t having any of it.

If you don’t know that name, Cormier is a former UFC light heavyweight and heavyweight champion, one of the only fighters to ever win a title in two weight divisions, and is widely regarded as one of the greatest mixed martial artists of all time. He now works ringside as a color commentator alongside Joe Rogan.

Eric apparently hit Cormier up for some insider information to bet on and Cormier posted the entire conversation to Twitter/X before deleting it. But not before people screen-captured the whole thing:

Cormier posted the screenshots of their text conversation with the comment: “I’m probably going to get a lot of flak for bringing this to light, however I refuse to stay silent. The UFC is a sport that I am deeply passionate about. I will not tolerate this type of insider behavior. Shame on anyone trying to ruin this beautiful event.”

THE CONVERSATION:

ERIC TRUMP: Hey Daniel, I’m gonna be attending UFC 250 tomorrow, saw you were casting, hope to see you there!

CORMIER: Yo eric didn’t expect a dm from you, excited to meet you and the family much love brother!!

ERIC TRUMP: Anything you can tell me about the the fighters tomorrow? Who you got winning?

CORMIER: Haha I like to stay unbiased but I love to watch Nickal fight.

ERIC TRUMP: You placing any bets?

CORMIER: Nah, I’m actually not allowed to bet on any cards or anything

ERIC TRUMP: Are any of the fighters injured that you know of?

CORMIER: I’m not quite sure why you’re asking me this but I think they’re all in good shape..

ERIC TRUMP: I’ll just cut to the chase. Are any of the fights tomorrow rigged? I’ve been eyeing the Lopes fight and I think an upset wouldn’t be too unrealistic. $$

CORMIER: No none of our fights our rigged and honestly I am appalled that you would even ask me something like that.

Following his 2nd round TKO win over Derrick Lewis, Josh Hokit decided to bring honor to America, Christianity, and the White House’s previous occupants with this baffling concoction of word-thoughts:

"𝐈'𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧! 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭! 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒆𝒄𝒉. 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭-𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒏! 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐈'𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐥𝐤—𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝒎𝒚 𝑳𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑺𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒓 𝑱𝒆𝒔𝒖𝒔 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕.. 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧, 𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐚, 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘢 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘮𝘢. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲, 𝐌𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞 𝐎𝐛𝐚𝐦𝐚 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝘮𝘢𝘯—𝐚𝐦 𝐈 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚?"

Yep, the first gladiator fight at the People’s House in American history featured a public address with off-color references, 4-letter words, Evangelical proselytizing, sexually assaulting someone’s mother, and a transphobic conspiracy theory about a former First Lady—all in a single run-on sentence.

Exactly what we needed to heal America.

Epic.

BONUS: Pilots flying into DC complained about being blinded by the lights from the arena, with one pilot calling it “10 times worse than any laser” and “one of the most frustrating things I’ve experienced in 20 years of aviation.”

Safety reports were filed to the FAA and NASA, who told the pilots to contact the White House, who weren’t interested in the problems of lowly commercial aircraft since they all fly private and just had Reagan National Airport pause flights for the event with zero warning to air traffic controllers, airport staff, or travelers.