“The Justice Department is preparing to seek an indictment against former Cuban President Raúl Castro, three people familiar with the matter told The Associated Press on Friday, as President Donald Trump threatens possible military action against the communist-run island.” — PBS News
The war in Iran has been nothing but a smashing success for President Trump. In just two months, the president has lowered the price of gas from three dollars a gallon all the way down to two dollars two-hundred-fifty cents a gallon. More importantly, the war has been the perfect distraction from the Democrat-orchestrated Epstein hoax. The president refuses to testify or release more evidence about a made-up scandal that he so clearly wasn’t involved in. That’s how you know he’s innocent.
Sadly, thanks to the lame-stream media harping about “inflation” and “wasting billions of taxpayer dollars” and “making the situation in Iran ten times worse than it was before,” what should have been a huge ratings boost for the president has turned into a ratings debacle.
There’s only one way to turn this approval ratings ship around and get the American people back on board with the MAGA agenda:
We have to invaded Cuba.
The first step in our plan to wage war with our long-time Caribbean nemeses was to indict former Cuban president Raul Castro for his involvement in shooting down two planes carrying American activists in 1996.
Some would argue that arresting a 94-year-old man for a crime he committed 30 years ago isn’t going to do much to bring justice to the victims’ families. But whether it’s a three-decade-old crime, or a picture of seashells on the beach, sometimes indictments are less about the crime and more about what the crime represents — namely that we don’t like the person and we want them to be thrown in jail.
Now that we have our pretense for war all squared away, it’s just a matter of how and when. A war with Cuba could either be over in a day like our operation in Venezuela, or it could wind up becoming another long, protracted conflict like what we’re dealing with in Iran. When it comes to starting dubious foreign wars, it’s a coin toss, really.
Not only will a war with Cuba be a great distraction from the war with Iran, it’ll also achieve one of Marco Rubio’s lifelong goals. You see, each member of the Trump administration is allowed one pet project. Pete Hegseth’s lifelong goal was starting a holy war in the Middle East. And Marco Rubio’s lifelong goal was turning Cuba from an authoritarian communist country into an authoritarian capitalist country.
If war with Cuba does, in fact, end up becoming a costly boondoggle, we’ll just move onto the next pet project: JD Vance’s lifelong goal of invading Sweden. Specifically the IKEA factory where the UPPLAND sofa is made. Though, to be clear, JD Vance would never call the UPPLAND a sofa.
To him, every sofa is a loveseat.
What are some other Trump officials’ pet projects?
This newsletter is free, but upgrading to paid helps me keep Shades of Greaves accessible to all, and gets you access to my monthly roundup of extra comedy tidbits, La Ñapa. You can support at any of the following levels:
No posts
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.