Sex, Here & Now is a podcast rooted in sex positivity, inclusivity, and honest conversations about the realities of sex and modern relationships. The goal is simple: to inform, to educate, and to clear up the misconceptions that continue to dominate our culture about intimacy and relationships. We live in a world that is still wildly sex negative, shaped by shame, purity culture, misinformation, and outdated scripts about what intimacy “should” look like. This podcast exists to challenge that. I…
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Gonorrhea and Syphilis Hit Record Levels in Europe. Here's Why! The headlines make it sound like people are having too much sex. The research tells a very different story. In this episode of Sex, Here & Now, Matt Lachman, licensed clinical therapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, breaks down the recent BBC article on record-high rates of gonorrhea and syphilis across Europe and explains why…
What if one of the healthiest things you could do for your sexual well-being is also one of the things you've been taught to fear? In this episode of Sex, Here & Now, Matt Lachman, licensed clinical therapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, takes on one of the biggest myths surrounding sexuality: that masturbation is somehow shameful, dirty, or unhealthy. Matt breaks down the research behind…
Are you kinkier than you think? In this episode of Sex, Here & Now, Matt Lachman dives into one of the biggest misconceptions about human sexuality: that kink is rare, extreme, or only for "certain kinds of people." The truth is, many of us engage in or fantasize about forms of kink without ever calling them that. From dirty talk and blindfolds to power dynamics, role-play, sensation play, and…
What if your sexuality was a garden? In this week's Matt's Musing, I revisit one of my favorite metaphors from Emily Nagoski to explore how our beliefs about sex are planted long before we ever have a say. Family, religion, culture, media, and past relationships all leave their mark. Some of those messages help us grow, while others become weeds that create shame, pressure, and disconnection. In…
Whether you're brand new to lubricant or you've been using it for years, there's a good chance you've been taught some myths about what it means. In this episode of Sex Here and Now, I break down why lubricant isn't a sign that something is "wrong." In fact, it's one of the simplest ways to make sex more comfortable, pleasurable, and enjoyable. We'll explore the differences between water based,…
After taking a week off, I'm back with some personal news that I've been excited to share... I'm married! In this special episode of Sex, Here & Now, I reflect on one of the biggest milestones of my life while challenging a common belief about relationships. Does marriage fundamentally change a relationship, or does it simply celebrate the one you've already built? Drawing from both my own…
Who are you when you have sex? Most people spend a lot of time thinking about what they do sexually, but very few stop to consider how they show up. In this episode of Sex Here and Now, Matt Lachman, licensed clinical therapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, explores the idea of your sexual style: the roles, patterns, and energies you naturally bring into intimacy. Are you a giver or a…
When was the last time you flirted with your partner? Not asked about groceries. Not discussed schedules. Not coordinated who is picking up the kids. Actually flirted. In this episode of Sex, Here & Now, I explore why flirting is one of the first things to disappear in long-term relationships and one of the most important things to bring back. Flirting is not just about seduction. It is about…
Why do people spend so much time worrying about everyone else's sex life? In this episode of Sex Here and Now, I explore something that has been on my mind lately: the tendency people have to judge other people's consensual sexual choices while avoiding deeper questions about their own relationship with sex. Whether the topic is kink, polyamory, queer relationships, casual sex, body confidence, or…
Have you ever stopped to wonder how much of your relationship was shaped by the relationships you witnessed growing up? In this episode of Sex Here and Now, we are talking about parents, caregivers, family dynamics, and the relationship scripts many of us unknowingly carry into adulthood. Whether your parents had a seemingly perfect love story, a marriage filled with conflict, or something in…
We hear it all of the time: "I just want sex to feel natural." It sounds nice in theory, but what if that expectation is actually making sex harder? In this episode of Sex Here and Now, I unpack one of my least favorite phrases in sex and relationship conversations: the idea that sex should be natural or organic. While our sexual orientation and gender identity may be innate, most of what we…
