Exiting the smartphone trap is a matter of individual parental responsibility

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Stating that the smartphone based childhood is a “collective action problem” may be robbing parents of individual responsibility. It is possible that this may be unintentionally increasing levels of inaction and harm.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a Jonathan Haidt fan and a great believer in collective action. Without it, I would not have had the influence I have had in recent years, most importantly encouraging schools to become ‘brickphone only’ environments, a crucial step towards reversing the disaster of the smartphone based childhood. My children’s primary school is the most personal example. They and their peers are so lucky and I have the deepest sympathy for those who attend primary schools (primary schools!!) that are still allowing children to bring smartphones onto premises. Madness.

However, I am concerned that the ‘collective action’ framing may inadvertently disempower parents and leave them in a state of paralysis. We must also make space to emphasise our own individual agency.

Parents do not need the help of other parents, schools, pressure groups or governments, to make the right decision and delay the age they give their child a smartphone. A cursory reading of headlines, such as The Academy of Royal Medical Colleges warning of the “horrific impact of tech and devices on children and young people’s health”, and of the juries in America convicting social media giants of creating addictive and harmful products, is sufficient information. This, and parental instinct. Parents intuitively know what is best for their children. They know that smartphones are not age appropriate and most do not want to give them to their child.

With medical leaders comparing smartphones to smoking, the correct action for parents is more obvious than it has ever been. If your child’s peers were being given cigarettes, you would not do the same. Whilst it is vital that we do try to change harmful norms, such as was done with levels of smoking in the 80s and 90s, first and foremost, you protect your child by not giving them the harmful product.

I am not trying to suggest it is ‘either, or’. Parents can both delay the age that they give their child a smartphone AND campaign with other parents. But in arguing for the latter I am worried we encourage parents to lose sight of the necessity and power of the former.

This, after all, is within the circle of control, whereas calls for collective action take parents into the circle of influence and circle of concern. Again, whilst this may be beneficial in terms of creating wider societal change, it has been shown that seeking to act within the circle of concern can be ineffectual, frustrating and harmful to mental health.

Collective action framing may also lead to inaction because parents are just too busy. Add smartphone/social media campaigning to their list of activities, from sports fixtures, birthday parties and volunteering with Scouts, for example, and you might find the result is collective handwringing. It’s too big a challenge, too insurmountable a problem to solve. When the ‘solution’ is actually in their hands.

Moreover, not only might calls for collective action blind us to our own agency, they may give an excuse to take the ‘easy’ path, to shrug and say ‘well, what to do, we can only do this together’.

Of course, if you have the time, get involved in campaigning. But it may be that the most important action is the one you take for your own children and your own family. And it might be that, in so doing, you find that the space between individual parental responsibility and collective action is porous.

It might be, when you make a brickphone the first communication device that you give to your child, and stick with it until at least 16, that it is not just your child that you get to watch fly, as others quietly notice and follow suit!

Parents, delay smartphones! You don’t need to give one to your child and they will be fine without one. Listen to the health experts, trust your instincts and delay.

Don’t let rapacious, irresponsible, dangerous tech companies push smartphones and social media onto your child and family.

You’re the boss. No-one is coming to save you or your children. It’s up to you.