Perspectives of Enough #5

If you’re reading this post via email, it may be truncated by your email provider. Please click on “View entire message” to see the entire post :)

Hello Dearests,

I started this series by reaching out to some super smart folks who are on their own path to “enough,” who are tired of chasing for more and finding their own version of a satisfying life.

Although I took an unintentional pause on interviews, I’m excited to share it’s back!

The “Perspectives on Enough” series is meant to give you a wide range of other voices so that it helps to spark finding your version of “enough.

Without further ado, in no particular order, here are the amazing folks you hear from:

I’ll let them take it away!

BLUE

If we could communicate, I’d ask if they ate food and when they could eat no more. They might refuse more because they had already had “enough.”

WENDI

would tell them that “enough” means “adequate” or “sufficient.” I would add that my society (the United States) constantly emphasizes that one can never have enough. Whether it’s money, power, influence, self-confidence, knowledge, enlightenment … the dominant cultural narrative is that we should always strive for more. That’s a toxic message that is very detrimental to our wellbeing.

JANE

It means the lack of scarcity. If the alien didn’t know what scarcity meant, I’d show an empty water bottle and empty bowl.

BLUE

Enough was when I was 51 and working 70-hour-weeks as a direct marketing consultant for Fortune 500 companies. By any external measure, I was successful, but I was no longer having fun. New customers, same process. Two things were at play here:

1) I had a record of getting bored after 3 years and leaving jobs, careers, states, or countries.

2) I had no balance in my life. No time for me. I was exhausted, bored, and in need of “new.” My body knew before my brain did. Exhausted, drinking too much. Not sleeping enough. I couldn’t afford to retire early in Silicon Valley, so I moved to Mexico—alone, before the internet. It was the best decision I ever made. I’ve been here for 30 years now.

WENDI

Not living in alignment with enough has been an ongoing struggle for me since childhood. One example is that in high school I came in fourth place in a regional spelling bee. I was ashamed that I had performed so poorly instead of being proud of myself. Fourth place wasn’t enough for me; I had expected to win or at least be in the top three and get a cash prize. I wanted to cry.

JANE

The time was during a disintegrating marriage when material things were offered in lieu of honesty. It didn’t suffice and the need for honesty spelled the end of the marriage.

BLUE

After surviving a near-death incident at 80, I looked at this extra gift of time and made a decision to fill my remaining days with passion, purpose, and to stop unnecessary and unfruitful worrying. I’d had enough of worry, and I wanted to live each moment in the present rather than worrying about what might happen in the future with my health, politics, AI or El Niño. So, I stopped watching and reading the news, and (except for Substack) gave up social media.

WENDI

A recent decision that aligned with my version of enough is that my husband and I went to a mid-priced restaurant that we had a gift card for instead of paying a lot more to go to a fancy restaurant to celebrate our 35th anniversary. We also took a 3-night vacation in April and stayed at an inexpensive air bnb instead of taking a longer trip or staying at a luxury resort. Both were wonderful experiences that didn’t leave us with lots of credit card debt!

JANE

The decision to sell my house which I’ve loved and cared for, but now is “too much.”

BLUE

I love this question. For me, there are three kinds of enough. Enough! As in “I’ve had enough of this.” Or “I will not put up with this.” Knowing when the life we’re living no longer fits the person we’ve become or want to become. The second is Enough? When we question whether what we currently have is enough. Will getting more of whatever that is make us happier? The third kind is Enough. When we’ve finally found a life that fits us. We’re comfortable and, more importantly, content.

WENDI

What I wish others knew about searching for their “enough” is that they will never find it outside of themselves. No amount of anything will ever seem like enough if they don’t believe that they ARE enough and love and accept themselves just as they are. And a related point is that their idea of enough may be very different from their family’s or society’s. It’s more important to live in accordance with their definitions of enough and success than to satisfy others’ expectations.

JANE

That it takes courage, self awareness, and maturity to know what “enough” really means. It’s different for everyone; no standards apply.

A HUGE thank you again to Blue, Wendi, and Jane for generously sharing their time.

(p.s. I’m aiming to have these at aa more regular cadence, along with some other changes, so watch this space.)

Leave a comment