Christmas in July: Part Five

Adam here…

Amber hates giving me gifts. She says I have impossible standards or just buy it myself. She’s probably not wrong with one caveat. I am realistically happy with a well-stuffed stocking of my regulars, a gift card to our local bookstore to stock up on a few months’ worth of reading, and a little gift here or there. However, I do dream big and, if you want to know what I truly want for Christmas, I will tell you. While a few things I want are unattainable, most are not implausible. I will say, you generally can’t add my wants to a cart and checkout. You have to contact a gallery, obtain pricing, place on hold, and wire money internationally.

A few years ago I started a Pinterest board called “I would be happy with…” not as a way to showcase exact items but to instead show a general feel or type of thing I think would be memorable to open on Christmas morning.

Recently I finished the Throwing Fits episode with David Sedaris — lived up to the hype. They get into gifting, and Sedaris says it best:

I always think the best gift should be something you didn't ask for. It's just something you didn't know existed in the world. [Y]ou open it and you think like, wow, I've been looking for this all my life, but I didn't even know what it was.

Lightbulb. That’s the whole philosophy. Not about money. Requires a certain obsessiveness — someone paying attention, staying curious.

Updated list below. Things I would be happy with — and have zero expectation of receiving:

Art. Always art. Ron Gorchov is the coolest and atop my Christmas list. The works carry equal power, stand alone or grouped. I spotted a smaller Gorchov nestled in this expertly executed wall of pictures in Phong Bui’s apartment in The World of interiors.

I would be happy with either of the above via Larsen Warner. I am well aware these are wildly out of my budget. It’s called delusion. If you are planning to buy me one of these masterpieces, please direct your inquiry to info@larsenwarner.com.

I am careful about floral art, but the way Gael Towey captures color and life in her monoprints is unbeatable. Once again, I must have a way to sniff out that which is not for sale. Or at least that which may not be for sale. When I asked her last year if she ever sold her work, she responded with a cool “occasionally I do.”

I have not asked him for fear of rejection, but I would love a page from Tom Hammick’s sketchbook. When framed, this is exactly the kind of work that grounds a grouping of art and lets it all breathe.

I have talked about this box fan before. I like what I like. Made by Nico B. Young, it is created with fiberglass and wood. If you missed Nico’s work on author Miranda July’s kitchen, you must check it out. Plywood covered in a butter yellow epoxy resin. Even if it’s not for you, it’s a work of art. Not sure how, but it looks like the fan might still be available. A Christmas miracle?

I initially felt a little resentment being sucked into the groupthink of the design community’s obsession with the annual Smythson diaries. After using for four years, I would be happy to sign on as a board member of the cult. I expected the ultra thin pages to bleed ink and just get on my nerves, but they don’t. Light as a feather, they feel luxurious. The planner is highly durable and the weekly configuration with the blank lined page on the right is exactly what I need. I write a full to-do list on the right for the week (organized by subcategory — work, fun, home, etc.) and then pull those tasks to appropriate days on the left. Most importantly, it works for my brain and the system sticks. The annual diaries don’t usually release until sometime in the fall.

The Smythson card holder appeared in my stocking stuffer post, but it’s time for mine to be replaced — in Sandstone.

We did a newborn session with film photographer Bethany Sams for both Emmett and Enid. It’s easy and the shots turned out genuine in a completely unstaged way both times. Now that we are out of the newborn phase and in a pretty sweet place, I would like to do a session this summer or fall.

One of my most unrealistic expectations is to be taken on a trip. I don’t even need to cross an ocean. The direct flight to New York would work. We typically visit a few times a year, so it’s not a heavy lift or learning curve. I say unrealistic because it requires the other person to read your mind, have access to your calendar, and arrange childcare without you knowing. It’s a logistical feat. However, a man can dream.

I want to fly out early morning and spend three nights (I could be swayed to two) at The Bowery.

For meals, I want a dozen oysters and fries at the American Bar (my personal preference over the Polo Bar). Superiority Burger in the East Village is also high on my list. Neither Amber nor I are vegetarians, but foodies rave about it and I could dedicate an album to my screenshots of their gelato. Gelato-adjacent, L’Industrie Pizza’s cantaloupe soft serve feels mandatory.

Let’s catch Gustavo Dudamel conducting in his inaugural season with the NY Phil — preferably Mahler 5 (end of September so technically an early Christmas gift) or Beethoven’s Ninth in the spring. The Metropolitan Opera programmed Aida throughout the spring, sure to be a quintessential, glamorous opera experience.

I relax as well as a chihuahua in heat. Two massage appointments in one day feel overly indulgent, but I would like to try. Two places on my list: Mio Head Spa (an authentic Japanese head spa) and Perry Street Reflexology in the West Village.

Considering sofas for our own living room, I would like to visit Schneller and test a few we have been eyeing.

Moving on.

A bottle of homemade lavender for my coffee would feel luxe and immediately usable. If you really love me, throw in a bottle of homemade vanilla simple syrup too.

I would like to own a copy of Sally Mann’s memoir that I begrudgingly returned to the library — unread — after racking up ten bucks of fines.

This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett is one I read this year from the library and would like to add to our permanent collection. Patchett’s essays are masterful.

David Sedaris routinely comes to Knoxville on tour and we have missed him every time. Not again. I will see David Sedaris on tour in 2027 if remotely feasible.

I am not a huge jewelry guy but do like an occasional ring or two. I would like a ring (pointer or pinky) with a small piece of moonstone embedded in it. From Scosha — the way their hand shows in their custom pieces has a cool vibe. Amber is a Cancer and moonstone reminds me of her.

This Donald Judd Chair wants to sit at the top of our stair landing and I want to let it.

Remember when I wrote about Weigel’s Chocolate Milk and mentioned wanting an album to document the design of our own home? I am still waiting for a custom leather scrapbook with a milk bottle embossed on the front from Vogel Bindery.

I’ll be honest. I can’t tell if these are totally going to work in the way that I am hoping, but there is only one way to find out. Santa, bring me these blue Salomon sneakers.

That concludes this year’s Christmas in July. Happy gifting.