Can Tugboat guide Giants’ ship out of the bilgewater?

Put down that kale protein shake, son.

Bust open mom’s freezer and create yourself a big ol’ hot fudge sundae. Breakfast of champions.

Turns out there’s more than one way to build a big-league body. It’s great to be in shape, but as Charles Barkley once said, “Round is a shape, too.”

Yes, I’m promoting fat. What’s got into me, a committed fitness guy?

I’ve got Tugboat Fever.

Have you seen this guy Tugboat? He’s a pitcher the Giants just called up from the minor leagues.

His name is Matt Wilkinson, but the last person to call him Matt was probably the preacher who baptized him.

He is Tugboat. He looks like he hides Snickers bars in his baseball glove. He is my new favorite athlete.