The Robot Baby-Sitters Club

A topic of conversation that came up this week in the SciFi Camp 🛸 group chat1 was: Which sci-fi robot would you trust with your kids?

My oldest is an avid reader of the Baby-Sitters Club graphic novels, so I assumed all science fiction bots were now in the running to join the roster to watch the neighborhood kiddos. With that, I decided to judge some science fiction robots using a totally arbitrary new rating system: RIGID.

Bender

• Title: Robo-Raconteur

• Details:

  • AKA Bender Bending Rodriguez

  • est. September 2996

  • Property of MomCorp (Tijuana)

  • Serial No. 2716057

  • Mugshot ID: 01473

• Rigid Rating:

  • Responsibility: 15%

  • Improvisation: 80%

  • Grit: 66%

  • Interest in Baby-Sitting: 5%

  • Danger: Moderate

• Overall Rating: avoid

Rosey

• Title: Experienced Nanny-Bot

• Details:

  • XB-500 model

  • U-Rent a Maid

  • est. approx. 2062

  • Known alias “Rosie”

• Rigid Rating:

  • Responsibility: 100%

  • Improvisation: 50%

  • Grit: 40%

  • Interest in Baby-Sitting: 85%

  • Danger: Very Low (meter at lowest point)

• Overall Rating: hired!

Robot

• Title: Lumbering Science-Bot

• Details:

  • B-9 Class M-3 General Utility Non-Theorizing Environmental Control Robot

  • Known aliases: “B-9”, “Blinky”, “Rodney”, and “Robinsons’ Robot”

  • Also seen in different incarnations in 1998 and 2018

• Rigid Rating:

  • Responsibility: 40%

  • Improvisation: 50%

  • Grit: 66%

  • Interest in Baby-Sitting: 35%

  • Danger: WILL ROBINSON

• Overall Rating: call back

R2-D2 & C-3PO

• Title: Quarreling Bot Duo

• Details:

  • AKA Artoo-Detoo and See-Threepio

  • R2: Astromech Droid (Industrial Automaton)

  • C-3PO: 3PO Series Protocol Droid (Unauthorized fabrication – Anakin Skywalker)

• Rigid Rating:

  • Responsibility: 60%

  • Improvisation: 80%

  • Grit: 50%

  • Interest in Baby-Sitting: 15%

  • Danger: HIGH (it’s their lot in life)

• Overall Rating: call back!

Alan Tudyk

• Title: Multiple Personality-Bot

• Roles Shown: Gary “four”, K-2SO, Sonny

• Rigid Rating:

  • Responsibility: 100%

  • Improvisation: 100%

  • Grit: 100%

  • Interest in Baby-Sitting: 1%

  • Danger: Moderate–High (bots prone to drawing attacks and/or attacking)

• Overall Rating: when it hits the fan

Dishonorable Mentions (Rating: Did not meet Criteria)

• Murderbot: read that name again (also watches space soap operas)

• Daleks: not a bot

• Cybermen: not a bot

• T-800: programming dependent

• Doris: doris is evil