Scarfolk is a town in North West England that did not progress beyond 1979. Instead, the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. Here in Scarfolk, pagan rituals blend seamlessly with science; hauntology is a compulsory subject at school, and everyone must be in bed by 8pm because they are perpetually running a slight fever. "Visit Scarfolk today. Our number one priority is keeping rabies at bay." For more information please reread.
In 1972, the government drew up plans to construct a deportation facility off the coast of Ireland that could house as many as 70 million people - the entire population of the UK, if need be. The intention was to make it an exact replica of the United Kingdom and call it Bad Kingdom. Nobody, it seemed, fulfilled the increasingly stringent criteria of what it meant to be truly British. Experts…
During the Queen's Silver Jubilee in 1977 a ghostly figure was spotted by alarmed viewers in a BBC broadcast. The spectre appeared to be sitting beside the Queen in her carriage. The apparition's identity remains unknown, though some claim it is Scarfolk resident Herbert Empire. Empire, a proud slaughterhouse owner and staunch monarchist, died after trying to tattoo a likeness of the royal family…
"Are you amongst us, spirit? Wake up, be bright, be golden and light. Bagpuss, oh hear what I sing..." From page 37 of the Children's Guide To Séances & Cuddly Demons (Scarfolk Books, 1973). The book encouraged children to contact the apparitions of children's deceased television stars. It was banned briefly, however, in 1975 when Noddy and Big Ears, deranged by their time in the spirit world,…
This internal council document was only recently unearthed in our archives. It refers to a secret governmental emergency plan to "purify" the town following some kind of "infestation or plague," the details of which have now been lost. Although we can now no longer be entirely sure what Plan C consisted of, the image of a nuclear mushroom cloud offers us a clear indication of the council's…
The government's self-support scheme launched in 1971. It's not known when the scheme finished because nobody could ever reach the government by telephone. Letters were returned with 'Not known at this address' written across them. Even when people turned up in London to complain in person, they discovered that many government buildings were just facades of the kind one might find on a film set.…
AVAILABLE NOW A large format map that comes in a bespoke folder, with a Scarfolk visa and souvenir postcard. A limited-edition (1st 1000 orders only), web-exclusive version also includes a Scarfolk bookmark made of genuine imitation leather. (Available from Herb Lester Assoc. , Waterstones , Foyles , Blackwells , Book Depository )
On 10 September, 1976, dozens of children, including every single pupil from class 3, Scarfolk High School, vanished on their way to school. A police operation was launched but no clues were ever found. The children were pronounced dead the following Monday, a mere three days later. Every year thereafter, the police commissioned their sketch artist to draw, in the style of a school photograph, how…
The pubs have reopened. Here is a selection of 1970s beer mats from the Scarfolk council archives. Collect them all! NOW AVAILABLE to buy from Saatchi Gallery ! Includes: 8 x Different beer mats 1 x printed insert 1 x presentation box
Below is an artist's impression, and recently unearthed Polaroids, of the 1978 Solstice Incident during which an occult ritual went awry at Scarfolk Henge resulting in the transformation of the sacrificial martyr into an enormous space hopper. When neither druid nor doctor could reverse the process, the victim became a town mascot, offering rides to children. Records show, however, that he was…
No one is entirely sure what the purpose of this public information poster was. All we know is that when a council worker accidentally posted it on billboards around Scarfolk, the poster below was quickly pasted over it. Records show that the errant, anonymous worker was soon sold to another council where his job was either to feed the council pets or be fed to the council pets. Documents don't…
While some children were born without faces simply because they didn't deserve them (see the Scarfolk Annual 197X ), the government became increasingly concerned about citizens who did have them. They found that people with faces are more likely to have personal desires, hopes and dreams, in short: a will and ideas of their own. Such idiosyncrasies were not only thought of as needlessly…
Of all the 304 general elections that were held in the UK during the 1970s, these three election posters for the Conservative party are among the few campaign materials that are still extant. This is largely due to the fact that campaign slogans were more often compulsorily tattooed onto ailing citizens who collected welfare benefits.* All promotional literature was designed and printed by the…
The Let's Think About... booklet was published by Scarfolk Council Schools & Child Welfare Services department in 1971. It was designed for use in the classroom and encouraged children between the ages of five and nine to focus on a series of highly traumatic images and events. Parents and teachers assumed that the booklet was based on psychological research but it had no scientific basis…
Apocalyptic toys were all the rage in the late 1970s, not that they were thought of as apocalyptic at the time. Citizens didn't fear their annihilation; they quite looked forward to demonstrating their 'Dunkirk spirit' with the misguided belief that it would somehow bring the country together. It didn't occur to them that their dogmatic nationalism might instead bring about the demise of the…
Many readers will remember the two packs of Horror Top Trumps , which were first issued in 1978. What is not commonly known is that the first pack was recalled after 3 days only to be rereleased a month later minus one card: The Scarfolk card. The card had proved so effective that, not only could it effortlessly beat every other card, it also killed the losing player within moments of the game…
The Scarfolk Annual 197x. OUT NOW (US/Can: 10.29.2019) Available from : Amazon ( http://bit.ly/scarfolkbook ), Hive, Waterstones, The Guardian Bookshop, Foyles, Wordery, Blackwells, Forbidden Planet, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million & others. For more information please reread.
The Scarfolk Annual 197X. 17.10.2019 (UK) 10.29.2019 (US). Pre-order: Amazon ( http://bit.ly/scarfolkbook ), Hive, Waterstones, The Guardian Bookshop, Foyles, Wordery, Blackwells, Forbidden Planet, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million & others. For more information please reread. SPECIAL OFFER: Pre-order NOW and receive the copy you ordered when it comes out. For more information please reread.