WHAT YOU NEED TO PREPARE EMOTIONALLY
“It’s unnatural,” I kept thinking over and over again as I prepared to send my 9-month-old baby daughter to daycare so that I could continue to work. She should be with me. I should be the one raising her. But, that wasn’t in the cards.
There are hard decisions you make as a parent that aren’t black and white. Some people would comment on my TikToks and say, “just quit work, I did it and it was the best thing I ever did.” I believe them, love that for them, and support their decision for their family. But, my income was half of our total household income, we live in California, and I wanted my kids to have things like college savings and their own rooms.
Now, I’ve been through the-sending-your-baby-off stage 3 times. My daughter went to daycare, then to preschool (just as hard), then my 6-month-old son went to daycare after my second maternity leave. I can tell you that it never gets much easier. I’m going to go through it again when my daughter goes to TK next year and when my son moves over to preschool in the winter.
I remember days after I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I drove away from my husband for the first time to go to acupuncture and I realized I was never alone and she was never without me. It stayed that way, pretty much until she went to daycare. I still get tears in my eyes thinking about that first day she was away. Thank god I worked from home because I sat in her nursery and sobbed for most of the day. It was so bad that my husband got so many Nanit alerts that he drove home from the office to check on me.
I’m telling you all of this so that you don’t think I’m cold-hearted or blowing you off when I tell you that over time I came to realize that daycare has been one of the best things we did for our kids. And, I would do it again.
Whether you end up sending your baby to daycare or you get to wait until preschool, the opportunity for children to socialize, learn, and develop relationships away from you is invaluable for brain development and socialization. Both of my kids are developmentally ahead and get along so well in social situations and I have the person who runs our daycare to thank for that. At the end of the day, I always remind myself that my job as a mother is to raise independent adults and opportunities for healthy independence will only serve them when they are older.
So my tips for handling this mentally are:
Interview many daycares until you find one that you trust unequivocally. A friend had an amazing tip to contact the local daycare licensing agency and ask for information on which daycares in your area have the best records. Personally, I prefer the smallest class size possible.
If you get a bad vibe at any point, switch. I pulled my daughter from a preschool after one day and sent her to a new one and it was the best decision.
Pay attention to the positives. Notice how many new words they get and be proud instead of jealous you weren’t there. Find gratitude that kids tend to eat better at daycare and you don’t have to panic about meal times as much. (Maybe this one example is hyper specific to me haha.)
Get all the gear ready. Having all the stuff prepared made me feel like I was a good mom and I was still caring for my kids even when they weren’t with me. Which leads me to my next point…
WHAT YOU NEED TO SEND YOUR KID TO SCHOOL
Everything you need is linked here.
My best tip is to get two bento boxes so that you can pack the next day’s lunch while they are still at school. Also, if you are an ingredient freak like me, make sure you get your own non-toxic sunscreen because daycares and preschools don’t always have it.
Hugs. DM me on IG if you need support. You got this.
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.