Revisiting dreams from 2013

I don’t keep all my journals, but one I do keep is the first journal I used to explore redesigning my life when I last had a full time job 13 years ago.

Yesterday it called out to me, and so I took it off the little book shelf by my bed, made my morning coffee and read through the pages of the dreams of Sarah in 2013.

I found myself in tears as I saw the many hopes that had been fulfilled:

‘I’d love to have a variety of projects running alongside each other.’

‘If I was brave… I’d put my comedy songs on YouTube.’

‘I’d love to set up a singing group for adults.’

‘I miss having a community of people who know and love me.’

And then being stunned by the certainty of how 27 year old Sarah imagined her life would be: ‘I expect at some point I will settle down and have a family.’ Was this what I wanted, or the path that I imagined because of what I’d seen modelled to me? Either way, it was strange to find myself at the point where that might have happened and consider whether it still felt true.

👆A page from my journal. ‘Blogging’ really dates it! I circled the ones I have done in some form…

Yesterday was one of my digital detox days - (I called them Tech Free Thursdays in lockdown, and am experimenting with Digital Detox Domingos now… ) and it always blows my mind how much creativity and intuition I can access when I’m not pulled into my phone. The inclination to look at the journal led me into revisiting some drawings about my career, which led to a whole download about a future creative project I want to make. I’ve been musing for a while on how to best share the story of my career with the world, in a way that feels fun and alive, and yesterday it all came to me. This only happened because I allowed myself to get bored, go on a walk without my phone, get into bed at 4pm and stare into space, and not talk to anyone for a few hours. And in that space, the whole thing arrived. How many more answers and creative dreams are there waiting for us if we get off tech for a few hours?

For the first time in ages, rather than putting time in my diary to ‘work on a creative project’, which I know I won’t stick to because it’s too vague, I am now putting time in my diary to be off my phone and keep at it. Most importantly it feels like this project is for me as well as for anyone else. I want to make it. And that feels key. Because before, I was feeling a lot of shoulds, and that’s a sure-fire way to kill the ol’ creativity. So it’s staying low stakes, long term, and centered around making it feel joyful and fun. We’re also still in the year of the snake, so better not get too ahead of ourselves yet (literally hold your horse(s)).

What else feels alive right now?

💸I’m taking part in a ‘No Buy Jan’ - apart from pre-agreed purchases like food and essential travel, I am not spending any money in January. For someone who buys a coffee and croissant for a debilitating £8 every time she leaves the house, this is a big shift. Discernment as a multi-passionate might feel like unnecessary restriction (let me do, be and have all the things!) but I’m actually finding it very illuminating.

Unexpectedly the discernment about money (‘is this absolutely essential?’) is flowing over into how I spend my time too. I’m pausing before I say yes more, I’m choosing doing one thing well over two things half-heartedly. This is very new ground for me, and I have to be honest that there have been moments where I wonder if I’ve gone too much the other way (better not leave the house incase I fail at no buy Jan #nojoyjan). Then again, I think overall it’s been a real positive to notice my habits and what’s truly important. I’m still choosing to spend money on weight lifting and joke with my PT that I am manifesting being on The Gladiators in 2030 (I do find some of my most jokey dreams end up coming true, so watch this space…).

🎧 I’ve set my decks up so they’re always on my desk - that way I’m much more likely to do a quick 15 mins of DJ practise. I’ve got some mash-ups that I’ve been trying to record for years… this winter is when they’re actually happening. DJing and mixing is one of my flow-states that helps me switch off completely.

👽I’m also starting the new Psy-cle of Psy Fit tonight - one of those aforementioned jokey dreams that actually happened. If you’re in Brighton, or know people in Brighton who are up for mixing joyful cardio with a deep release, to banging tunes, do send them my way. Tickets here. It’s on for the next four Mondays starting 12th Jan.

As always, I am available for 1:1 coaching to help you:

• reconnect to joy and aliveness (what do you actually want to do with this one, precious life?)

• take action on the things that matter (don’t overthink it and just start experimenting - you got this )

• and work out what you need to quit (and have the courage to walk away feeling proud!)

Please book in a chemistry call here, or drop me an email at sarahweilercoaching@gmail.com

Big hug to you all this Monday,

See you next time!

Sarah