As a child & and teen, I often spoke to God, prayed, I was a believer. And it’s not like I ever really stopped believing. I just got distracted and swept up in this endless cycle of new age healing.
Honestly, I think it began when I started taking SSRIs - but that’s another story.
As I became more immersed in the worlds of yoga, energy, healing, oracle cards, and other new age practices, I honestly didn’t see that they were bringing me further away from God. I mean, it’s all spirituality, right? It’s connection to something divine, no?
Well, the devil likes to keep us distracted & divided.
And if you don’t believe in the devil, just look around you.
We are NOT Divinity.
God is not IN us.
We are not in CONTROL - although the illusion that these sexy practices helping us program the future is powerful. It becomes a self centered hamster wheel of manifesting, healing, affirming and vibrating high - words I uttered many times that make me want to gag when I think of them now.
This endless cycle of healing practices is all about DOING & Christianity is about BEING & BELIEVING.
It’s about worshipping the Creator, not creation.
It’s about surrender - not grasping for control.
You don’t attain heaven - you arrive because you are a believer.
My return here did not happen overnight. Jesus did not appear to me. I didn’t have an epic dream. It happened like this:
🤍 I met my husband, who has a deep faith rooted in scriptural knowledge.
🤍 I watched The Chosen and felt the Gospel come alive for me once again.
🤍 I received messages such as the cancelation of the Italy retreat I had planned - my co-facilitator practiced Kundalini yoga & Sanskrit chanting that never resonated with me & in fact, sometimes made me uncomfortable. I could never put my finger on why - I thought perhaps I just didn’t get it, wasn’t trying hard enough (and that is definitely what she kept telling me). Whereas now, I see, it was not aligned with the Christian beliefs that are deeply rooted in me . . . at all . . . in fact it may be the work of God’s opponent.
🤍 I had opportunities to practice Reiki again, but there was a sense of unrest in my heart - clients didn’t surface and it was a blessing.
🤍 I studied quantum biology, and I’m not sure how anyone can study this level of science and not believe in a creator, a savior.
🤍 I reconnected with an old friend who is walking a path with Jesus and watched adults get baptized in her backyard pool - this was more profound than I could have imagined.
🤍 More & more Christian women started popping into my life in various ways.
So here I am. Reading scripture. Exploring. Eager for conversations about what this all means. Abandoning a lot of my business - or pausing it until it morphs into something more aligned. I don’t have all the answers - in fact, I don’t think I have any. And interestingly, I think that’s what this journey is all about.
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