This week, my daughter turned 18. EIGHTEEN. It has put me, as they say, all in my feelings. I’ve been looking back so much it’s given me a neck injury. For example: I can remember getting discharged from the hospital a few days after she was born. This kind older man was rolling me out in a wheelchair while I held the baby in my lap, thinking, “They’re really going to send us home with her? We have no idea what we are doing!” We were in the elevator when he said, “Try to enjoy this as much as you can. It goes so fast.” In those early months and years, when I was so exhausted and some days seemed endlessly hard, it was hard to see his point. Now, though? I get it.
Here in NC, the DMV—where you have to go to get a license, RealID, take your driving test, etc—-is in crisis. Getting in to do anything is like The Hunger Games, but with documents. If you want to walk in, they suggest getting in line a FOUR A.M. And that doesn’t even guarantee you’ll get seen. If you want an appointment, they are currently scheduling out into December and January. I was in the process of gathering a camp chair, snacks, a blanket and other things for my 3:30 wakeup when someone said we should take a shot at going at the end of the day, an hour or so before closing. I was NOT feeling optimistic. But then….there were only two other people in line. We exchanged nervous, yet hopeful looks. A woman came to the counter and asked what each of us was there to do. Tentatively, breath held, we each responded. Even when she us a number and told us to sit down, we did not want to believe. BUT THEN we got called up (station 2!) where I stood, hands literally shaking (damn you, anxiety) as she began calmly doing this process that I had been obsessing and worrying over for weeks. Fifteen minutes later, it was done. I told her I was going to bring her cupcakes. She laughed. When we came back out to the waiting room, everyone applauded and I ran out of there like I’d just been chosen for the Price is Right. And yesterday I DID bring cupcakes to the ladies at the DMV. They seemed, honestly, pretty surprised?
Okay, that last one was incredibly long. So I’ll just say in good books lately I’ve read Port Anna by Libby Buck (I’ll be in conversation with her this coming week at Flyleaf Books here in Chapel Hill) and am about to finish Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano. I am also about to start my first Emily Henry novel. Excited!
In other news, I just finished going over my copyedits for Change of Plans. I always forget how very much I hate copyediting until I have to do it. (It’s like childbirth, fading by necessity so you won’t rule out ever going through it again.) On the other hand, I have SO much admiration for copyeditors, as that kind of attention to detail—realizing that what says it’s happening on a Sunday would in fact be Tuesday, or that a certain kind of tree mentioned would not have leaves that time of year—-makes my head hurt. So thank you, SM, for doing all the math with ages, verifying timelines and making me look like I know what I’m doing grammatically. I appreciate it more than you know.
Last summer, I bought a lantana plant purely for the name, Ham and Eggs. I assumed it was an annual and had died off by fall. Then, this May, I carefully planted lots of zinnias, my favorite flower, around our patio and in other chosen spaces. Jump to now: the lantana has taken over, and the only zinnias that came up were ones that were seeded accidentally in some rocks. Another example of the often stark contrast of what you plan and imagine and what actually ends up happening. This is a lesson I feel I should know at this point in my life. Apparently not. Another one? A lot can come from tight, inhospitable spaces. If you’re in one, try to look for the sun. Once you find it, lean in.
Have a good weekend, everyone!
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