Dear grandma

It’s getting closer to the one-year mark since you left, and a lot has changed. I have been managing and keeping myself busy, and honestly, it’s been a blast, but tonight I really miss you. I really, really miss you. I keep telling myself I will be strong, and I am. Of course I have to be. I need to raise my kids the way you raised me, but I am also human, and I just really, really miss your touch. Your kiss. You telling me I am the greatest. You smiling at me. You joking with me. I just miss you. I have been managing pretty well. I started writing again like you always told me to do, and I have had a little success. Even though I think my writing still has a lot more ironing out to do, there are actually some people who like it, which still amazes me. But you always told me I was a great writer, and you never really told me why. You just said I knew how to express my emotions and that people who read my words would feel them. I have met a lot of friends on Substack, and it has been a fun place, and honestly, I think I have been writing to grieve your loss while also archiving my life and leaving a legacy for my children. But don’t worry, Grandma. I will be okay in time. There are just some nights when I miss you more than other nights, and that is just that. Thank you for coming into my life. I love you.

Always,

Your T.