The End of Humanity (and Beginning)

(2 min read)

Nukes could fly towards Atlanta and other major cities throughout the world at any minute.

As soon as I hear they’re coming, I’ll smirk and say “Humanity fuckin deserves it. Self-annihilation is just the latest in a string of bone-headed moves.”

Or maybe it will be some other weapon of mass destruction. AI-controlled drones, for all I know. Same idea.

I’ve seen so much selfishness and short-sightedness and evil.

…

Or so I thought.

4 months ago, we had a baby boy.

The pregnancy was hard (and hard-won, in the sense that before that was a miscarriage, which was as physically challenging as emotionally).

The birth was a traumatic nightmare.

And these past 4 months have been brutal hell.

Our baby has often resembled a wild animal. Unintelligent, inconsiderate, etc.

I hear from other parents that in the months or years to come, he’ll grow into a terrorist (for a while).

It’s ridiculously hard.

And normal, by the way.

It would be impossible for a newborn to be intelligent and considerate.

Others point out how lucky we are to have such a cute, happy, healthy baby boy.

But wow, infancy is a disaster in general.

My mind often goes back to a lesson I luckily learned at a young age, which is that “love” is a verb more than a feeling.

So I pour my heart into this kid and shower him with love even when I certainly don’t feel like it.

I know that our relationship will have countless chapters.

These first ones will probably be my least favorite.

I knew that ahead of time.

(I didn’t know HOW BAD they’d be, but still, I at least get to know that they’re finite.)

Anyway, I’m finding it interesting that these 4 months of suffering have actually led me to have more compassion for humanity as one giant Human Colossus (as Tim Urban calls it).

And think about how Humanity is merely in its infancy.

So my statement at the top saying that humanity deserves anything bad that happens to it doesn’t really apply since I’d never say that about an innocent baby.

Humanity is a fuckin total wreck.

But if you zoom out far enough, it’s just getting started.

Infancy of individual humans is a fragile time where it feels like a miracle if they can even survive (given how poorly human bodies and instincts are suited to survival).

So “it takes a village”. Raising a child requires a concerted effort from lots of people who hold a vision of possibilities in their heads for a brighter future.

I’m starting to think of Humanity in that light.

When I see terrible, selfish drivers on the road.

When I see greedy corporations.

When I see wars.

When I see lying, misogynist, racist politicians.

When I see millions of people vote for jerks like that.

I can now see it the way I see my son swat a bottle away even though he’s hungry.

A lot of his behaviors are out of his control and go against what he wants or what’s good for him.

He has no idea what he’s doing.

For now.

And that’s ok.

If we can get through the short run, the long run is better.

This has been true for human history.

If you were to graph human progress over time, there would certainly be lots of downturns (like Trump getting elected).

Like civil rights laws being reversed.

But if you zoom out far enough, the progress has been undeniably positive for thousands of years.

I like thinking about where humanity could be thousands of years from now.

And I’ll be more patient for it, the way I’ve needed to be patient with a newborn.