An Anniversary and an Alarm Clock

Today, I’m thinking back to Andrew’s death 3 years ago and feeling all the cliches. How on Earth has it been 3 years? And yet at the same time it feels like a lifetime ago.

I have re-written this blog multiple times, with so many different thoughts and memories.

In the end I’ve decided instead just to share one wee light hearted story about Andrew that I don’t think I have shared before. (Sorry if I have.)

In 2014 I was doing a pantomime, which is always very intense. I had 3 shows most days and came home absolutely exhausted. It was about the 20th December and Andrew and I had done absolutely nothing to prepare for Christmas. Andrew had a free day and so when I left at the crack of dawn, I said ‘would you try and do something useful today, babe?’ To which he responded ‘certainly!’

That night, 3 shows later, I rang him on the way home, shattered. He was in great form excitedly telling me he had a surprise for me! So, I was imagining a clean and tidy house, washing done, Christmas tree up, maybe he’d even pushed the boat out and done some Christmas shopping! (It is inaccurate to say I actually expected this, I’d have probably fallen over with shock if he’d done all those things.)

Anyway, I arrived in and the house looked the same as when I’d left (with a few more tea stained cups lying around the place.) There were no obvious Christmas lights and the washing basket was still over flowing.

Andrew grabbed me by the hand and sat me on the sofa. He lifted his laptop, opened it and appeared to click ‘play.’

All of a sudden a heavily processed song began playing. There were multiple harmony layers, an interesting bass line and funny rhyming lyrics that were encouraging me to get out of bed. ‘Hey Ruthie it’s time to get up etc….’

At the end of the first hearing I felt a bit bemused and didn’t say very much. He chimed in ‘well, do you like it? ‘

‘Well, yeah I guess so.’ I responded and then asked ‘Is this what you did today?’

To which he enthusiastically replied, ‘Yes, it’s your new alarm clock ringtone so that you can get up more easily cause I know you’re really tired!’

He didn’t tidy, or get the Christmas tree down from attic. He didn’t go into the town to buy presents, he didn’t start the washing or ironing, or cook dinner or do a big food shop.

But he did compose and record me a personalised alarm clock ringtone. It won’t surprise you to hear that in the end, I got everything ready for Christmas.

I wasn’t particularly impressed that day.

But i was thinking today, if he’d done something that I considered more ‘useful’ then I wouldn’t have my hilarious ringtone which I still often wake up to (when my red-haired 3 year old alarm clock has a surprise lie in!)

Andrew drove me absolutely mad and yet he also made me so very happy. There is a very famous quotation: ‘Grief is just love with nowhere to go.’ How very accurate. We still love and miss him today and every day.

Over and out

Ruth