Savor this...

I love my dining room table.

Decorating is not my gift, and most of the things in our home are a random hodgepodge of things we inherited or got for free paired with Wayfair and Ikea finds.

But our river table is special. Honestly, it’s a work of art.

We had it custom made several years ago, and it is by far the most expensive piece of furniture we’ve ever bought.

So naturally, when we first got it, we were a little hesitant to actually use it.

But thankfully, that didn’t last long.

The day after it was delivered, we had a few friends over to play dominos, thinking a tablecloth would be sufficient to protect our brand new table.

Unfortunately, one of our friends had a rough night and spilled their drink three separate times.

The table survived, and we learned how to relax.

And I’m so glad we did, because that table is where life happens in our home.

Family meals. Dinner parties. Crafts. Legos. Taxes.

And of course, game nights almost every weekend with our friends George and Brie.

Right now our current obsession is Ticket to Ride: Rails and Sails, which is, somehow both super fun and incredibly stressful at the same time. I can actually feel my cortisol spiking while we play, and yet the second it’s over, we’re all immediately ready for another round, complete with all the smack-talking that only happens around people you love.

My husband Chuck, ever the engineer, is the slow one. George hoards all the cards. Brie can’t play unless the board is facing her. And apparently I’m just annoyingly lucky all the time.

But this past weekend, as we played a game we’ve played a hundred times before, I had one of those little moments.

One of those oh this is so good moments.

And I savored it.

Because this idea of savoring is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.

A few weeks ago I stumbled across a post on social media that was talking about a famous class taught at Yale called the Science of Well-Being–the most popular course in Yale’s history.

It’s built around one surprisingly humbling question: what actually makes us happy?

And the answer, backed by a ton of research, is not what most of us think.

Because it turns out that we as humans are genuinely terrible at predicting what will make us happy. We chase achievement, money, status, a nicer house, a more organized life, always convinced that the next hill we climb, the next milestone we achieve, is finally going to fill us up.

And sometimes it does feel good, at least for a little while. But then it quietly becomes our new normal, the baseline shifts, and we’re already scanning for the next thing.

The solution, according to the course, is to learn how to rewire your brain with simple daily practices that create more joy. To savor moments. To practice daily gratitude and small acts of kindness. To prioritize connection and take care of your body by getting enough sleep.

That’s it. The secret to happiness. Simple, yet so hard to actually do.

And I think the reason it resonated with me so much is that I know this pattern well.

I’ve built four businesses, written seven books, made the New York Times list, stood on a TED stage in front of thousands of people. And I’m genuinely proud of those accomplishments. I don’t regret striving, or trying to achieve them.

But at the end of the day, they’re just highlights.

They’re not what makes me happy, day-to-day.

And what I’m realizing right now, in my current season of simplifying my life and creating more margin and free space, is that it genuinely feels good.

But unless I’m intentional about actually savoring it, even this will just become my new normal. Something I take for granted. Because that’s what our human brains are wired to do.

Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius famously wrote, “the happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” Along those same lines, Jim Rohn more recently noted that “happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.”

In other words? Happiness isn’t a destination. It’s what you choose to practice every day.

And you have to choose it on purpose, or your brain will quietly default back to looking for what’s missing.

Because that’s just how we’re wired.

And so I guess that’s my challenge for you this week. Practice savoring. Every single day, find at least one moment and intentionally pause to take it in. The warmth of the sun. A conversation with your kids. A quiet cup of coffee. A small win at work. Whatever it is, don’t just let it pass, but actually take the time to notice what’s good.

It’s more impactful than you think

Then, when you get a chance, hit reply and tell me what you noticed. I genuinely want to know.

Live with purpose, friend, and have a joy-filled week!

xoxo, Ruth

P.S. Happy Mother’s Day!

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