Leaning into fear

Once upon a time, I was afraid I’d die the same way my Dad did… That somehow I was destined for suicide.

But after leaning into this fear… trying to understand why I felt this way… I found that I was more afraid of two things… Losing control and dying.

By pushing where it hurt, I was able to understand that I can only really control two things… what thoughts I acted on and how I responded to whatever came my way… I also found that the more I feared dying, the more I diluted what I feared losing… life.

Going towards my pain in a sensible way, helped me overcome it.

I was struck by the casual demeanour of the locals… fascinated that people would casually and knowingly relax near the water despite the ever-present threat of crocodiles.

I wondered how long it would take for me to be comfortable with being near the water… not doing anything stupid, but being comfortably aware of the risks and enjoying the surroundings… responsibly…

Read the article here

Since I first pondered this question, I’ve experienced my own version of an answer…

We moved house recently and where we live now, we’re more exposed to snakes… A former version of myself… the version that moved to this house… was hyper aware of snakes… and when we first saw them, I couldn’t stop thinking about them…

But as time passed… as I learnt more about them and what to do if you encounter them… the fear and obsession dissipated.

Whether it be a fear of suicide, snakes, or crocodiles… whatever fears we hold are generally never as bad as they seem… And that by leaning into them, trying to understand them, and not letting them dictate the way we live (all within reason obviously)…

We can overcome them.